Happy 2nd Birthday!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Granty!

It it crushing to me to have yet another year pass without having to plan a birthday party for my little guy.  As silly as it seems, I love spending an inordinate amount of time planning the kids' birthday parties - - it's a rare opportunity for me to tap into my creative juices.  It's a very hollow feeling to know that his birthday parties will always be represented by a simple Sprinkles cupcake and donation to Phoenix Children's Hospital...not the typical Hovey birthday festivities.

While at a birthday party last week, it was jarring for me to see three little boys whose birthdays fall within three-months of Granty's.  It was a harsh reminder that a two year-old isn't a baby anymore (as Grant is forever emblazoned in my mind), but rather is a full-blown little boy.  Seeing the little boys running around reminded me how much time has actually passed since we've had Grant with us.  Alexa constantly asks about Granty and what he's doing now, wanting to know if Granty has teeth and is walking and talking.  Honestly, I never have a good answer for her.  In my mind, I picture a little guy playing t-ball and loving to swim in the pool, but I am fully aware of what the reality of living with an aggressive brain tumor would have meant.  Alexa's version is usually a lot less grounded in reality and much more imaginative - she's even asked how he is able to keep his wings attached (he is an angel afterall). I am more than happy to let Granty exist however Alexa imagines him to be.

As I was getting ready in the bathroom this morning, I overheard Alexa talking to Damon about the things Granty used to do....from rolling around on the bed with his constant leg kick to pulling her hair to laughing hysterically at my silly noises.  She truly remembers her little brother, and I continue to hold onto that as a shining example of Grant's legacy.  My biggest fear has been that Alexa will forget about her baby brother and the memories of him will dissipate - she was only three years-old during his life.  However, she continues to show only the highest regard for her little brother and recalls his memory dotingly.

Tonight Alexa was thrilled to blow out Granty's candles, even requesting two rounds of 'Happy Birthday' since Granty turned two this year - of course, that also meant blowing out the candles twice.  The birthday 'celebration' this year felt more complete than last year, as the arrival of Ani has provided a significant boost to our family.  She has been a source of hope for all of us, and one look at her lop-sided grin is an instant sign of Granty's spirit in her. :)

Happy Birthday, Granty!

Making the most of another birthday celebration without our little guy...

A wish for our Granty.