On the West Coast

Alexa and I made the trip this morning/afternoon to the Bay Area, connecting in Los Angeles along the way.  It is pretty amazing how easy it is to travel with Alexa now - she was a great travel partner and didn't whine or cry once despite our seven-plus hours of airport and airplanes.  Her first flight was a cross-country trip from Orange County to New Jersey at just two-months old, so she's a pretty seasoned traveler, but the difference a few years makes is remarkable.  I had some pretty hellish flights with her during her toddler years, so today's flight was a wonderful change from a few years ago....heck, I even had the opportunity to watch 'Law and Order' and read my People magazine.  Not a bad trip at all!

Needless to say, Alexa was very happy to see Damon waiting for us at the San Jose airport, and the three of us drove up to San Francisco later this afternoon.  Our hotel is in the Fisherman's Wharf area, so we took a nice tour of the area, grabbed some dinner and wrapped up the evening with dessert at Ghirardelli Square.  Thankfully there were a couple of nice San Francisco hills en route to dessert, a few that Alexa wanted to run with me, so I didn't feel too bad about a small indulgence!   Tomorrow should be another busy day too, as we're planning a boat ride and trip on a cable car before we drive down to Monterey.  Whew - what a vacation! :)

Enjoying some traditional San Francisco sourdough (in very cool shapes)...

Mission Accomplished

Tonight Alexa knocked off one of the major items on her St. Louis to-do list....she ate frog legs!  I have to admit that I was very impressed that she went through with it; I know I couldn't have done it.

We met tonight for dinner at a restaurant near my parent's house (thank you Aunt Midge for the recommendation), as I even called ahead earlier this afternoon to make sure they were serving frog legs tonight.  The hostess who answered the phone started laughing when I asked if they offered a kid's meal with frog legs, but she did let me know they had an appetizer featuring three "saddles" instead of the normal five saddles with an entree.  Perfect.  Alexa was very excited, as soon as the server came over for the drink order, she was already requesting the frog legs.  The preparation consisted of a coating in Italian bread crumbs with a flash-fry, so I was hopeful the fried element might make them more palatable for Alexa, but I did order a honey mustard dipping sauce (in addition the the standard tartar sauce and cocktail sauce accompaniments) just in case.

Alexa initially freaked out when the plate of three saddles was placed in front of her, but it wasn't the frog legs that were the problem - they had sprinkled parsley flakes on the top.  Yes, she was not freaked out at the three sets of legs but rather tiny green herbs....go figure.  Thankfully that was an easy fix (I grabbed a separate plate for her parsley-free legs), and she dove right into her meal.  I couldn't believe it, but she ate one saddle with no issues, navigating around the small bones in the legs and trying each of the three dipping sauces.  I tried a little piece and nearly gagged, so I have to give all of the credit in the world to Alexa for her culinary adventurousness.

Frog legs aren't on the top of her favorite foods list, but she was very proud to have tried them and taken them off her to-do list.  I'm just praying that she never requests them again! :)

Excited to dig into her first "saddle"!

The much-anticipated meal (after one saddle and parsley were removed).

Granty's Farm

Today Alexa and I, along with my good friend Molly and two of her sons, visited one of my favorite St. Louis attractions - Grant's Farm.  It's essentially a wildlife preserve with other animal exhibits, Clydesdale barns and an Anheuser-Busch products tasting area....unfortunately I had to pass on that one today.  We could not have asked for a more perfect day to visit weather-wise - it was another unseasonable St. Louis day with temperatures in the 70's.  It was a perfect break from the Arizona heat!

When Alexa found out we were going to Grant's Farm, she immediately modified the name to Granty's Farm  :)  As we rode the tram through the Deer Park, a tour guide provided some narrative from the back of the train.  About three minutes into the ride, Alexa looked at me and was a bit frustrated saying, "They keep saying Grant instead of Granty!"  I didn't feel like breaking it to her that it was a nice thought, but Grant's Farm was not named in honor of our Granty.

Despite being a bit tired from the long day yesterday, she held it together pretty well (a few dramatic episodes), and we had a fantastic day at Grant's Farm.  One of her favorite things was the goat feeding, although I have never seen goats as crazy as these.  As soon as Alexa and Patrick (Molly's three year-old) walked into the exhibit holding bottles of milk, the goats were super-aggressive and jumping on the kids trying to grab the bottles of milk.  Alexa and Patrick held their ground pretty well, even staying to brush the goats after the bottles were finished.  We wrapped up our morning with another one of my Midwest favorites....Steak-n-Shake.  Another great day in St. Louis!

Holding her own with the crazy, aggressive goats.

Unphased by the goat nibbling on her skirt.

Up close and personal with a python...eek.

Wash and Fold...Repeat

Packing for an eleven-day trip ranks very low on my favorite things list...I feel like I have been washing and folding laundry non-stop.  There was a point tonight that I actually started to calculate the cost of simply buying new clothes on the trip instead of taking a suitcase.  Needless to say, I resumed my packing activity shortly after I derived that dollar-figure.

Alexa did provide some much-needed comic relief from the mundane activities.  As I was pulling laundry out of the dryer, I had Alexa peering over my shoulder to see if any towels had been washed.  A couple of weeks ago I showed her how to fold towels using "Mommy's neat and puffy way" instead of "Daddy's floppy and messy folding," and as a result, she has become hooked on folding towels.  She does a pretty good job, and I can honestly say my bathroom linen closet has never looked so perfect.  Alexa has definitely inherited my perfectionism, and she will fold a towel as many times as needed to make it perfect.  Next up, t-shirts...

Tomorrow's an extremely early flight (6:30am...I have no idea what I was thinking), but I know Alexa's just as excited to get to St. Louis as I am.  As she fell asleep tonight, she was plotting which toys from NeNe's basement she wants to play with first. :)

Ready for a trip back to The Lou!

Eight Months....

Despite the excitement and joy of yesterday's announcement, as another 25th of the month passed, it was impossible not to be affected by the gravity of the day.  It's been eight long months since Granty passed away....and I continue to relive various moments of his life in my mind on a daily basis.  Granty's life changed my own life in so many ways.

One of the most challenging aspects of the past three months have been my initial doctor's visits, both with my OB and the perinatal specialist for the first trimester screening.  At each visit, I have had to recount Grant's story, as I explain why I don't have a vivacious infant boy at home as my medical chart would indicate.  These routine doctor's visits have actually become very emotional and draining experience.  There aren't too many people who can say they elicit tears from every doctor and nurse they encounter...my OB was especially crushed when she heard what happened.  Each time I walk the doctor through the history of Grant's life, I marvel at what my little boy endured, keeping that signature grin on his face the entire time.  It's hard to believe almost a month of his life was spent in the hospital.  When I tell his story, I always make sure to include mention his effervescent personality and wonderful demeanor....in his life, Granty was never defined by his cancer and I certainly can't let that happen now.  I wish everyone could have known him like I did.

My little guy was so much more than that tragic brain tumor....he's my hero, my daily inspiration and guardian angel.  Eight months have passed, but he'll always be with us.

Cancer schmancer.....always rising above the situation at-hand.

Fantastic News!

Damon and I are very excited to announce that we are expecting Baby Hovey #3!  I am 14-weeks pregnant, so my due date is estimated around January 24th.

Needless to say, we are thrilled by the pregnancy, but we have definitely been more thorough and cautious with this pregnancy than we were for the first two.  It was torture for Damon not to tell anyone, but I wanted to make sure we made it through the first trimester without any complications before revealing the good news.  The desire for a healthy baby has taken on an entirely new meaning after the ordeals of the past year.

I did contact Grant's neuro-oncology team a month ago to inquire about potential screenings for brain tumors, and the Chief of Neuro-oncology at PCH assured me that Grant's type of tumor (astrocytoma) has no genetic markers nor instances of family clusters.  He was very excited for us and very confident that we will have a healthy baby.  The perinatal specialist I saw last week also reiterated these assurances and explained the cancerous tissues were likely in-utero with Grant but it was unlikely that they were in a tumor state...meaning no ultrasound would have ever detected his brain tumor.  All first trimester tests came back with good results, so we're keeping our fingers crossed!

We broke the news to Alexa tonight (I was surprised that she hadn't noticed my growing stomach..she's a tough critic!), and she was excited but also demonstrated the same level of cautiousness Damon and I have had.  It was tough, although not unexpected, to hear the question, "Is this baby going to die too?"  However, after some reassurances, she seemed genuinely happy to have another sibling....she's pulling for a baby girl this time.  She really wants to name her "Elizabeth."  :)

We'll have to wait until probably September to find out the gender, but I think Alexa would be overjoyed with either a brother or sister.  I think the tough part for her is going to be waiting until January!

Hovey #3....a first photo (~10 weeks)
(Head is on the right and the right arm is visible.)

Quiet Hour

While Alexa watched her second and final television show of the day (SuperWhy) and started to wind down for the night, I should have been folding laundry or packing for our upcoming trips to St. Louis and Monterey.  Instead, I found myself sitting on the edge of the couch, blankly staring at the wall as my mind raced with thoughts of Grant.  He was always wide-awake around Alexa's bedtime, so the hour from 8:30-9:30 was usually one of quality bonding time with Granty.  Tonight was just another one of those nights where his absence hits like a ton of bricks and leaves a palpable void.  The treadmill, laundry and work just don't fill that hour like my one-on-one time with Granty did.  It was truly one of the highlights of my day.

Putting Alexa to bed and getting ready for our quality 1:1 time....

On The Lookout

I have to say, the relationship between Alexa and Damon is one of the most amusing and entertaining facets of my daily life.  Sometimes I think Damon reverts to being a mischievous four year-old when the two of them spend time together...

Since we're going to be out of town this weekend, I've been meticulously scheduling Alexa's make-up lessons, trying to make sure to keep her same coaches, etc..  Today she had a make-up swim lesson at 3:30pm, so Damon had to assume to responsibility to take her to the lesson.  When I came home from work tonight, I asked Alexa how swim class went, and instead of hearing about the backstroke or freestyle, she exclaimed, "Daddy got popcorn and was eating it during my class!"  Busted!  Damon said he was trying to be discreet, but apparently Alexa was watching him like a hawk.  The popcorn was just the beginning..."He also had an Icee drink after having a sugary drink at home too."  Damon just starting laughing; he knew Alexa had exposed his snack (and extra sweet).

This isn't the first time Damon's tried to sneak something past Alexa and been caught in the act.  I will never forget the night that Damon and Alexa came home from a dinner run, both of them sipping milkshakes.  Damon has a weakness for milkshakes, so when he and Alexa were at the drive-thru, he tried to be sly and discreetly order a milkshake at the window (instead of the speaker) while he turned up Alexa's music on the car's stereo.  That plan failed miserably, as Alexa's ears perked up when Damon tried to whisper "milkshake" to the employee, and he ended up ordering a milkshake for each of them.  Undeterred by this failure, Damon tried again at Portillo's about a month ago, as he tried to covertly order a piece of their chocolate cake.  The customer service at Portillo's revealed his purchase to Alexa, as multiple employees confirmed the order throughout the process, and Alexa was sure to relay the information back to me as soon as they got home.

After these failed attempts, I think Damon now sees it as a challenge to try to sneak things past the watchful eyes (and ears) of Alexa.  I will definitely hear about the failed missions from Alexa, as she thinks it's hilarious to rat our her Dad.

Damon and his little watchdog (no offense to Alstott...)

Some Collateral Damage

It's not to often that the thermometer in my car reads 74-degrees in July, but that's exactly what happened today.  We had quite the rainstorm today, and it even took down one of the trees in our backyard.  The afternoon swim I had promised Alexa was off the docket, as the tree was resting in a portion of the pool.  After the weeks of unrelenting heat, a downed tree didn't seem like too significant of a price to pay for a much-needed break from the heat.

Damon was taking a much needed mid-morning nap after a pretty late night, so Alexa and I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to do some back to school shopping.  I don't know if it was the rain or the cool weather, but Alexa agreeably decided to tag along with me to Nordstrom Rack as well.  That doesn't happen very often; normally she is not a fan of clothes shopping whatsoever.  However, today she was a very eager helper and was happy to "hold my merchandise" (her exact words)....I foresee a very expensive daughter in the not-so-distant future.  It didn't take long inside Nordstrom Rack to uncover her ulterior motive - - she quickly made her way to the kids' shoe department and girls' clothing.  She even stopped to coo at a cute little boys' outfit, commenting how she thought Granty would look cute in it.  Aww :(  One sparkly dress later, we were on our way to Target.

As we drove home from Target,she was admiring all of the puddles from her vantage point in the back seat.  I knew exactly what her next request was going to be before she even spoke a word.  Sure enough, after a quick lunch she had pulled her Hello Kitty rainboots from her closet and begged me to take her puddle-hopping around the neighborhood.  Of course, I was happy to oblige.... :)

In search of the perfect puddle.....

Enjoying some poor drainage in our front yard.

Memory Evoking Memories

Today was Alexa's last day of summer camp, and her class was having a pajama party and a "bring your own game" party to celebrate.  Alexa had no trouble making the decision to wear her My Little Pony - Rainbow Dash - pajamas, but she was having a much tougher time deciding what game to bring.  After a few suggestions, she finally settled on one of her Memory matching games, deciding to bring the Sesame Street version to share with her friends.

The decision was made, but finding the game became the hard part.  Alexa appeared in the bathroom while I was getting ready, frantic that she could not find the Sesame Street Memory game.  I went into the playroom and searched through the shelves but had not luck finding the game.  Suddenly I realized where the game was - - she had last played it when Granty was in the hospital, and I remembered the Memory game was in Grant's room, in the bag of personal items we brought home from the hospital that fateful Sunday night in November.  Ugh.

Granty's room has remained virtually untouched over the past few months, so I planned to duck quickly into his room and grab the game.  As soon as I opened the door, both Alexa and Alstott rushed into his room too.  Alexa said, "I miss Granty" and immediately rushed to his rain forest playmat and turned on the lights and music.  Alsott was sniffing every where, as if he was looking for his little buddy.  The "crowd" rushing into his room made it evident how much Granty is missed, and even that quick minute in his room was gut-wrenching.  Damon and I know we will have to do something with his room at some point, but even eight-months later, it still seems too soon.

Enjoying some play time on his rain forest mat.

A Few Technicalities

Tonight Alexa selected the book Marshall Visits the Hospital as her bedtime story.  I received an author-signed copy of the book as a baby shower gift, and it's a very sweet book intended to help ease children's apprehension about hospitals and what they may experience there.  In the four years we have owned this book, I think we must have read it a hundred times, but tonight was a very different recitation of this book.  For the first time, Alexa began to question some of the book's content, as there are some very obvious differences between her experiences of a hospital through Grant versus an upbeat introduction of most children's hospital experiences.  Poor Alexa has no idea the magnitude of what she's experienced!

As usual, Alexa curled up next to me as I read the book, but she quickly interrupted me when I read a sentence pertaining to "the doctors and nurses will have you back home in no time."  Alexa halted the reading, "Wait!  That's not true, Mommy.  Grant didn't get to come back home after the hospital, because he was very sick and died."  Great...I had to continue reading this book with myself on the verge of tears.  After I concurred with Alexa's statement, I moved onto the next page, but it didn't take long before she interrupted again.  This time the technicality pertained to "a special chair for Mommy to sleep in your hospital room" that Marshall cited.  "Mommy, you did not have a chair at Granty's hospital.  You had a bench with a pillow and a blanket, but one time there was also a big bed in Granty's room (our final hospital stay)."  Once again, she was correct, and her ability to remember the details of the last year continues to amaze me.  I truly wish her experience with hospitals was as upbeat and cheery as described in Marshall Visits the Hospital, not the tragic situation we endured with Grant.

I'm just glad we were reading the book at home rather than having Alexa hear the book in a storytime setting at school.  Without intending, she could scare the bejesus out of her peers!  As she gets older,  I have a feeling we'll have a lot of talks to differentiate Granty's hospital stays versus the positive ones most people experience.....

The strongest and toughest person I will ever meet....a definite inspiration.

Turning the Tables

As Alexa and I sat down to dinner tonight, I expected to have one of our normal conversations discussing school, swimming, etc...  Rather, as I settled into my chair, Alexa looked at me and said, "So, Mommy.  Can you tell me anything you learned today?"  Needless to say, I was caught completely off-guard and I honestly couldn't think of a good response to her question.  I didn't think she would be too intrigued by forecasts, performance versus plan, gross margin....  Before I could concoct a good answer for her, she interrupted with, "Don't worry.  I will teach you something new, Mommy."

Sure enough...she decided to relay some of the stuff she's learned in summer camp, specifically the art-related information.  "Have you heard of Van Gogh?  He's an impressionist painter, and I saw a picture of what he looks like and his 'Starry Night' painting too.  His art is more like Monet's than Wassily Kandinsky's."  Pretty impressive for a four year-old; I know that I was not throwing out the names of artists when I was four.  I decided to interject a little bit of knowledge, but of course I couldn't recall anything from my Art Appreciation class during my undergrad years at Purdue, so I settled on the fact about Van Gogh cutting off his own ear.  Alexa's response?  "He sounds like he should have gone to Cuckoo Camp."  Interesting take, but probably pretty accurate. :)

I'm already looking forward to tomorrow's "learn something new" session.  I'll definitely be making a conscious effort to bring home some interesting facts from my workday tomorrow.

My little smarty-pants....I can't wait to teach her Finance.  lol

Happy Homecoming

Tonight I picked up Damon and Alexa from the airport, and it was a great reunion after the two-day break.  It was an unusual role reversal, as normally it's Alexa and I travelling with Damon picking us up at the airport.  It was kind of nice to be on the flip side....As soon as Alexa spotted me waiting at the security exit, she took off in a full sprint for the last 100 feet and jumped up to give me a huge hug.  What a great moment!  It was one of those greetings that caused other people in the airport to say, "Aww...."  And this was just two days - imagine if they were gone for a week!

Papa Hovey had taken Alexa and her cousin Luke to the park today, so Alexa was worn out and in a very silly mood this evening.  While I was eating my frozen fruit bar (my one sweet for the day), Alexa was laughing hysterically as she "stole" bites of my dessert.  After two days of quiet, it was nice to hear her giggles, especially in her slap-happy mood tonight.  It didn't take long for the laughter to subside, as she connected about 10 pieces of a 48-piece puzzle and promptly curled up on the bed and fell asleep.  Even Alstott seemed happy to have a full house again; he laid his head on a sleeping Alexa and started snoring.  Happiness. :)

Overjoyed to have everyone home....lol

Way Too Quiet

Gosh, it is bizarre to be at home with only Alstott....the house is shockingly quiet.  Even Alstott seems a bit lost without Alexa playing with him or, more importantly, supplying leftovers for him to scrounge.  The quiet has enabled me to get a lot of work done, and I'm sure my boss will appreciate that tomorrow morning.  As I drove to the grocery store tonight, the song "Gone Gone Gone" came on the radio, and I missed the normal accompaniment from the backseat.

This morning I did have a nice FaceTime session with Alexa, and she relayed the details of everything she had been doing during her first day in Fresno.  She was especially excited about the breakfast Nana Hovey prepared for her; you can't go wrong with waffles and strawberries.  I think the baptism and festivities surrounding it must have worn her out, as Damon told me she fell asleep in the car on the way home this evening.  Of course she takes a nap when I'm not there....lol.

I'm looking forward to picking Damon and Alexa up from the airport tomorrow night.  As much as I enjoyed the peace and quiet along with some rigorous, much-needed workouts, I'm looking forward to having a full house again!  Two days was long enough :)

A little sleepy-eyed while enjoying one of Nana's famous breakfasts.

Uncommon Free Time

Damon and Alexa took off today for a quick trip to Fresno to attend his nephew's baptism, but I wasn't able to make the trip, as it's the busiest time of the year for me due to the fiscal year closing.  They return on Monday evening, giving me an opportunity to focus on work this weekend, but it's more than enough time for me to miss them....especially my sidekick Alexa.  Aside from the time apart at work and school, the two of us seemingly do everything together, so a couple of days without her will be a definite shock to my normal routine.

Damon had to laugh, as en route to the airport, Alexa sighed from the backseat and exclaimed, "I am just so tired all of the time, and I don't know why."  Hmm....that sounds very familiar, but I'm always able to cite the Alexa-factor as the reason for my fatigue.  That girl really goes 100mph from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed.  Today was no exception, as she hopped from gymnastics to swimming to the airport, with a break in between for a quick trip to Target.

After dropping of Damon and Alexa at the airport this afternoon, I immediately began to work, so their absence went seemingly unnoticed.  However, it was a different story when I wrapped up my work-related activities for the night; I had no idea what to do with my free time!  I decided to get in a nice, long much-needed workout, followed by an extended walk with Altott before it became too dark.  I'm not sure Alstott was too appreciative of  the 1:1 time, as he curled up and slept as soon as we returned from the long walk.

Who knows what will be on the docket tomorrow....aside from work, of course.

Finally taking a break tonight....lounging in a chair a little too small. :)

Tearful Manipulation

Tonight was Alexa's first official swimming lesson as a Star, and I was a little nervous because her normal Thursday night coach, Devin, had no availability in her Stars classes, so we were forced to switch coaches.  Alexa was very anxious about this change, as she absolutely loves Devin, but I convinced her the new coach was Devin's BFF, an idea that seemed to make the prospect of a new coach much less nerve-racking.

Well....things did not exactly go as planned.  I'm not sure if there was a coaching change or if they initially took Alexa to the wrong coach, but she was unexpectedly placed with a guy coach, and she immediately broke down crying.  Devin was in the next lane over (I think she was just as sad that Alexa was no longer her student), and Alexa was reaching for her for dear life.  The manager took pity on the sobbing Alexa, and she took her into Devin's lane to say "Hi."  Rather than send her back with the guy coach, Alexa somehow managed to use her tears to get a private lesson with another coach (female) who happened to be available.  Somehow Alexa was able to manipulate the situation, whether it be conscious or just pure luck, and move from a teary group lesson to a happy private lesson.  Go figure.  I'm just glad she didn't revert back to the lessons of old!

We did talk to Coach Devin afterwards, and we let her know we are on the wait list for her Wednesday Stars class.  Thankfully her Saturday lesson should be drama-free, as she's signed up with her current Saturday coach (Steven), just at a different time.

Thankfully we did not have a repeat of a lesson like this; what a nightmare!

Misty-Eyed Drive

There are some days I think I should drive without the radio on...

During my drive home tonight, the song "Home" came on the radio, and it led to a very weepy commute.  I could not stop crying as the song played, as all of the memories of Granty and his ordeal came rushing back to me.  These emotions always hit like a ton of bricks and are unrelenting.  Life after Granty never has been and never will be the same.  I've quickly realized that a "new normal" develops, but unfortunately there is always an emptiness associated with it.  Losing a child is a truly crushing experience, and the power of song, especially that song, always seems to elicit the emotions of the experience.

Thankfully Alexa met me at the gate of school tonight, so I was able to leave my sunglasses on.  I had composed myself well-before I arrived at the school, but Lord knows the state of my eye make-up by that point.  I was looking forward to spending the evening with Alexa; she always seems to be the perfect cure-all for the moments of sadness.

My commute tomorrow afternoon will be music-free...I think the Cardinals have a 5:05 (AZ time) start time for their game.  Thank goodness for Sirius XM!

So many memories of PCH....what a happy little trooper!

The Enforcer

I have definitely found the secret to the perfect diet - - get a four year-old involved.  Ever since I imposed the "one sweet a day" restriction upon Alexa, she has made sure the policy is also followed by Damon and myself.  I would not be surprised if Alexa becomes a personal trainer; she watches my eating habits like a hawk!  Tonight she saw me grab a chocolate-covered pretzel stick out of the freezer, and called me out, saying, "That's your sweet for the day, Mommy!"  Dang it....one little pretzel, and I was done for the day.

With the exception of an occasional extra sweet, this rule has been one of the best parenting decisions I have made.  It has definitely made my life easier and minimized the number of disagreements with her.  Alexa wakes up each morning, plotting her one sweet for the day, and she's very cautious not to eat a treat in the interim.  Today was the perfect example, as before I left for work, she was telling me about her plan to have a scoop of ice cream (frozen yogurt) with strawberry syrup tonight after dinner.  However, when I picked her up from school, she was begging me for a chocolate chip cookie.  Wouldn't you know it, when we stopped at Spinato's to pick up a pizza (yes, I was lazy tonight...busy time of year at work), a display of cookies adorned the carry-out counter.  I really did not want to spend $3.99 for six chocolate-chip cookies, but I gave her the option of one cookie or the ice cream.  After some careful examination of the cookies, she opted for the ice cream, and I did not hear another word about the cookies as we waited for our pizza.  Music to my ears....

Since Alexa's so good at enforcing things, I should really start to tell her my running mileage goal for each day.  There's no way I would hop off the treadmill early if Alexa was overseeing my workout! :)

No sneaking sweets with this kiddo;
extra spoonfuls of cottage cheese are okay though.

Slight Detour

Since Damon was out of town through today, I had the responsibility to take Alexa to school this morning.  She was very excited for this change in routine, as on Sunday night she began to plan the lesson she wanted to show me at drop-off, but unfortunately an early conference call negated her plan.  Alexa even tried to convince me that she should take Damon's spot in bed, so she could wake up with me and get ready for the earlier than normal drop-off...I quickly ix-nayed her logic on that one.  Instead, I looked in the mirror when drying my hair, and there was a smiling Alexa looking back at me...bright and early at 6:15am.  I knew it was going to be a long hour and fifteen minutes before I took her to school.

It's always amusing when I take Alexa to school, as I don't think she realizes that I come to her school every day to pick her up...I think she only thinks of me leaving the school with her in tow.  Each time I take her to school, she loves to "introduce" elements of the school to me, like the school bell or the statues in the garden.  As we walked through the gate this morning, she pointed to the building with the Infant Room, and she told me, "Mommy, that is where you would drop off Granty if he was with us.  I would help you carry him in with all of his stuff.  It's so sad he never got to go to the same school as me."  The introspection of this four year-old girl never cease to amaze me....I too wished I was making the left turn detour before taking her to the Primary class.

This pic reminds me of a classic "first day of school" pose.
(San Diego vacation pic)

Going Swimmingly

Although the temperature topped out around 110-degrees today, it was relatively overcast, making it seem a lot cooler than it has been in recent weeks.  Alexa and I took full advantage of the opportunity and spent two+ hours in the pool this afternoon.  It was the perfect opportunity for her to burn off some excess energy, as around 10 o'clock this morning she asked me if we could go hiking in the mountains.  Call me crazy, but I didn't think the weather presented the best situation for her first real hike.

Swimming with Alexa has actually become a relaxing activity for me....she's completely independent in the pool now.  As of yesterday, she has graduated to the next level at her swim school, meaning she will begin learning proper strokes.  Today, she wanted to show off the freestyle stroke that Coach Steven began teaching her yesterday.  She's definitely getting speedier in the water, and our races across the pool are now closer than ever.  Her swim skills even enable her to cheat during our races, as I felt her left hand shoving me and pushing me back while we raced to the fountain.  I still cannot believe that this is the same girl that wouldn't let go of her coach's neck as recently as three months ago....

As I was able to sit back, relax and watch my little swimmer, my mind began to drift to thoughts of Granty.  That little boy loved the water from his very first bath, something the broviac port in his chest later hindered.  I felt a sense of sadness as I thought about the pairs of swim trunks, with matching hats of course, sitting untouched in his armoire.  I can only imagine how much fun it would be to have him on an infant raft with his doting older sister swimming around him, showing off her newly found skills.  I don't think two+ hours in the pool would have been enough for either of those kiddos... :)

Taking a break from her freestyle swim...lounging with a pool noodle.

Tea Party for Three

After swimming today, I took Alexa to Toys R Us with the intention of buying her a new tea set (her current one ended up in her sandbox...ugh).  However, the My Little Pony aisle quickly trumped a tea set, and Alexa convinced me that a My Little Pony tea party playset (ponies + miniature tea set) was a much better choice.  The My Little Pony playset was on clearance, so it didn't take to much convincing....

Needless to say, this playset became the popular activity for the day.  The set included three ponies and accompanying place settings for each, so Alexa played the role of the Princess Celestia pony and I tried to juggle both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.  I was trying to be creative and use separate voices for each, but that became way too complicated after five minutes of play.  As Alexa called me out for using the Pinkie Pie voice while holding Rainbow Dash, she suddenly said, "You and I need one more person, Mommy.  I wish Granty were here to play ponies with us.  He could be Rainbow Dash, and there would be three ponies for three people!"  I just smiled at the thought; I couldn't bring myself to let Alexa know that Granty would still be way to young to play My Little Pony with her.

I can only imagine that dynamic that would have existed between Granty and Alexa in a year or two - - I'm sure Granty would have more than his share of princess dress-up clothes and My Little Pony.

Alexa and her perfect playmate....

Educational Snacking

During the past few months, Alexa has definitely endured her fair share of my subtle (and not so subtle) tactics to promote her interest in phonics and numbers.  A few weeks ago, I happened to be shopping at Safeway and saw what I thought was the greatest dual-purpose item....Scrabble Junior Cheez-Its.  Essentially they are simply normal Cheez-It crackers with a letter inscribed on one side, but I was more than happy to pay a premium to buy this educational snack.  I was so proud of myself and thought I had discovered the best snack ever (not the best in the nutrition department, but I was willing to overlook that.)

Initially, Alexa loved the Scrabble Cheez-Its, but after a few snack times in which she had to say the sound of the letter on the cracker before she could eat it, she was over it.  I knew I had turned her off when she opted for raisins instead of Cheez-Its for an afternoon snack.  Point taken.  I don't think I have ever had a "special treat" sit on the pantry shelf as long as these dang Scrabble Cheez-Its.

I don't know if it was the three-week break from the academic snack or if Alexa was simply tired of nectarines and plums, but this afternoon Alexa asked me if she could have a bowl of the Cheez-Its.  I was overjoyed, but I made sure to downplay it so Alexa wouldn't feel like the alphabet was being forced upon her.  Even though the crackers featured upper case letters (she's learning lower case), I was beaming as she began to properly identify each of the letters in her bowl of about fifteen crackers. 

I know it's the Summer Program at her school and not my multi-functioning snack that's prompting her learning.  Nevertheless, I was very proud to eek out a short phonics lesson at snack time, and Alexa was just as proud of her newfound academic prowess.  There's still a half of box of these Cheez-Its to go....:)

Showing off the "X" Cheez-It....one of the "easy" ones.

A Great Holiday

Happy 4th of July!

Although Damon had to work today, I was able to take the day off and spend it with Alexa.  We attended a barbecue/pool party at a friend's house late this afternoon, but Alexa wanted nothing to do with fireworks.  She told me they're too loud, and she only likes the fireworks when the Cardinals hit home runs.  Perfect - - unlike most cities, firework displays are extremely few and far between in the Phoenix area, so her disinterest in fireworks saved me from having to find a show.  Today definitely wore her out, as she fell asleep on me before 8pm tonight - well-before any fireworks shows would have started.

It was cute to see Alexa's expression this morning when she realized that I was taking the entire day off work.  She was ecstatic to know that I wasn't doing any work-related things today, allowing her to have me at her complete disposal all day.  Normally, I'm always checking e-mail or doing some sort of spreadsheet when I'm home during the day.  Instead, the two of us made Rice Krispie treats for the party, using a star-shaped cookie cutter and red & blue sprinkles to make them more appropriate for the holiday.  In addition to our dessert, we spent the rest of our time playing dress-up, "volleyball" with balloons and even watched a portion of "101 Dalmatians." It truly was quality time with my "not so little" girl.

Today's cooking experiment....

Happy 13-Month Birthday, Granty!

Without fail, I always have a restless night of sleep leading up to the third of each month.  I cannot tell you how many hours I have laid in bed and relived moments of Granty's life - the fateful MRI, days upon end in the hospital, the morning of his surgery when he laughed hysterically for the first time....  It's still hard to believe that all of my memories of him will always be contained to five short months, not the thirteen we should have today.

Thankfully I always have Alexa to brighten my spirits and remind me how good our lives truly are.  Today was a very exciting day for Alexa, as not only was it the last day of school for the week, but she also had a make-up gymnastics class (no class this Saturday) after school....and she had a brand-new leotard to wear to the gym tonight.  I buy her leotards online, and this time I gave Alexa all decision-making power as to which leotard she wanted.  I did have to steer her away from a pink velvet number (too hot!), but she opted for a flashy purple sparkled leotard with crystals and purple zebra print accents.  I have to admit, I was skeptical at her decision, but it is much cuter in person, and I could tell from the viewing area that she loved wearing her fashion statement.  I wish running clothes were this cute!

When Alexa was getting ready for bed tonight, she made sure to find her huge floppy giraffe - - she refused to go to bed without it.  As we laid in her bed and watched light formations from her DreamLights giraffe, I couldn't help but think how much Granty is still a part of our lives.  There's not one room in our house without a giraffe or picture of the little guy.  I just wish Alexa were cuddling with him instead of the floppy giraffe.

One happy boy....we miss you, Granty!

Just Saying "Hi!"

As Alexa and I were driving home from school today, I was mindlessly flipping through the radio stations from the control on my steering wheel.  Suddenly, Alexa screamed, "STOP!!  Go back, Mommy!  Granty's saying "Hi" to us!"  Sure enough, when I went back a few stations, the song "Gone Gone Gone" was playing on the radio.  I have no idea how she heard it, but needless to say, I was impressed at her self-described "great listening skills" (I wish those skills were on display when I ask her to clean her room).

As the song wrapped up and she was able to belt out her favorite verse, "Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating," she looked at me with a pouty lip.  "I like hearing this song because it makes me think of Granty because this is his way to say "Hi" to me.  I just wish that I could play with him again...I really miss him."  Sweet and heartbreaking at the same time.  That little boy surely left an indelible impression on all of us.

On a separate follow-up, the pudding pops turned out well!  My brother Steve was razzing me today for using Cool Whip, but considering he used to can his own jams and jellies, I didn't take it to personally.  The Cool Whip actually helped to make the pops nice and creamy.  I knew they were a huge success when Alexa rated the homemade pudding pops even higher than the mini-Drumstick cones she loves.  Looks like we have a new summer sweet!

Finding ways to just say "hi."

Pudding Pop Revival

I don't know if it's the stifling heat or spending all day with a rambunctious four year-old, but I have crashed two nights this week without first updating the blog.  Oy!  I'm making a conscious effort to resume my daily postings, as this blog is one of my personal continuances of his spirit and legacy.

While I was at the grocery store before I picked up Alexa tonight, I felt a tug on my handbag as I reached for bananas in the produce section.  I turned around and I saw a little boy cooing at me from the seat of his mother's shopping cart.  He started giggling as soon as I acknowledged him, and I felt an instant pang of sadness.  Even before his mother told me, I knew that he was between twelve and fourteen month-old.  Yep - - when I commented what a cutie he was, his mom responded that he's a thirteen month-old ball of energy.  Moments like these are so bittersweet; I love to envision what Granty would be like today but seeing a little guy his age reinforces what I'm missing.

One good thing about the sweltering temperatures is that the time at home has forced me to become more domesticated as I search for indoor projects for Alexa to do.  On Saturday, Alexa and I made a recipe I found in People magazine for crinkle cookies (I knew them as chocolate pixies); these were a definite hit with Alexa and Damon.  Even more impressive (for someone with my kitchen acumen), I searched on the Internet for a recipe for Pudding Pops (like the ones Jell-O made in the 1980's), and Alexa and I made a batch of pudding pops tonight.  We'll find out tomorrow if they're just as good as the ones I remember.  The recipe was simple: instant pudding, milk and Cool Whip; let's hope they turn out!  We might have a new summer go-to dessert if this recipe works.

The domestication is very limited though....after Alexa and I put the pudding pops for set in the freezer, I pulled out the ready-made rotisserie chicken I bought at the grocery store.  :)

Geeked to be making another thing in the kitchen;
two recipes in as many days.

Busted!  Caught sampling the pudding pop mix.