The Daily Mantra

Thursday night swim lessons!  Tonight was a mixed bag for Alexa, as she cried for "Mommy" a couple times during the lesson, but thankfully she was smiling and laughing by the end of the session.  I couldn't help but laugh as Alexa was clinging to Coach Anthony's neck like she was a human necklace; she was trying with all of her might to make sure that he could not let go of her in the water.  I wish she tried as hard at learning the swimming techniques as she does at making sure her coach doesn't let go of her.

As I sat in the gallery watching her lesson, I couldn't help but think of how lucky I am to have Alexa.  This little girl brings so much joy to me, and even her frustrating behaviors (like her unwillingness to learn to let go and swim) are somehow very endearing.  I do not think Alexa will ever be able to understand the role she has played in my ability to cope with the loss of Granty; she's truly been my rock.  Her activities, antics and general enthusiasm for life are so uplifting and help to offset my daily heartbreak for Granty.  My mantra during the past three months has become, "Thank God for Alexa", and I don't see that ever changing (I may redact this statement in 2023 when she's 14 years-old and I'm pulling my hair out...haha).

JOY.

Crafty One

I think we might have found Alexa's niche - - arts & crafts.  During our first summer in Arizona, I quickly realized that you can never have enough art supplies for all of the hours spent inside.  It appears my shopping trips at Michael's have paid off.... When I picked up Alexa from Aftercare, she was bursting with excitement to show me a surprise inside the classroom.  She proudly showed me a button bowl she had made at school; it was a pretty impressive project that I know required a lot of time to make.  I cannot tell you how proud I was when Alexa's teacher informed me that Alexa's button bowl was one of only three in the entire class to turn out.  Yeah!  Needless to say, Alexa was very excited to take the bowl home, and she spent the car ride plotting potential uses - a candy dish (I ix-nayed that one), a bowl for holding her beads....the possibilities are endless!  lol

We're less than two weeks away from the Run (Walk) to Fight Cancer, and I'm really getting excited for the event...it should be a lot of fun.  Alexa and Gabriella already have their matching giraffe t-shirts thanks to Jenny's mom :)  If you'd like to donate in honor of team Granty's Giraffes, here's the link to our page: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/GrantysGiraffes/run-to-fight-childrens-cancer.  Thank you to all who have donated....we're already raised over $400 for Phoenix Children's Hospital and the Children's Cancer Network!

Alexa posing with her button bowl...the sassy factor is always there. ;)

Future Boilermaker?

After a pretty cruddy day yesterday, today was markedly better - Alexa was in a fabulous mood when I picked her up from Aftercare, which made for a fun, light-hearted evening.

Alexa was singing the Mission Montessori school song tonight, and after ~10 repeats of the song, I decided I needed to get her focused on a different song.  I figured teaching her the Purdue Fight Song was the perfect counterpart to the Mission Montessori song, and, as an added bonus, I know her Uncle Steve will be very proud to have a niece who can sing 'Hail Purdue.'  She absolutely loved learning the song and was even more enthusiastic when I pulled a few renditions off 'You Tube.'  I'm proud to say that she's mastered the first two verses, and I don't think we're too far away from memorizing the entire song.  Alexa wanted to run to her closet to put on her Purdue cheerleading uniform, but I told her we'd save that for when she knew the complete song (and not eating macaroni and cheese).  I'm glad to see that Damon and I are successfully brainwashing her into a Boilermaker.....

I am happy to report that I do think our little girl who doesn't like numbers and letters is coming around. During dinner tonight, she told me that she would like to go to college, but she wants to finish pre-school first.  Sounds like a fair deal to me...  Then she proceeded to ask, "What does college look like?"  Hmm....maybe we need to take a trip to "beautiful" West Lafayette, Indiana (home of Purdue) with Alexa.  Or, even better, a visit to Palo Alto, California (home of Stanford) for our future Pediatric Neurosurgeon - haha.  Her latest ambition (I'm glad she finally has one) is to be a Pop Star...not quite sure if Stanford or Purdue offers that degree program.  ;)

Halloween 2011 - Purdue cheerleader :)

A Sad Anniversary...

I do not look forward to the 3rd and 25th of each month....these dates commemorate tough anniversaries (Grant's birthday on June 3rd and death on November 25th) that evoke a sadness and emptiness that's even more pronounced than normal.  Today was no different than any other 3rd or 25th, as it marked the three-month anniversary of Granty's death.  Thankfully my calendar was relatively clear this morning, so I was able to work behind my closed office door.  By 10am, I think I had cried off all of my eyeliner....

Even though we're definitely old enough to understand that life isn't fair (I probably tell Alexa that at least once every couple of weeks), Damon and I are hopeful that we've paid our dues, and good things will start to happen to us.  We do have faith that joy will find us again. :)  Three-months of heartbreak has been wearing, but I know that we're lucky to have each other (and Alexa, of course), not to mention the wonderful friends and family that have been with us every step of the way.

Three-months too long without Granty...

Tough Revelations

Today I had a little bit of "me time," as Damon took Alexa to her swim lesson so that I could have a much-needed hair appointment.  I had last been to the salon during the first part of November, so I was a bit anxious about the conversation that I was sure would happen.  These semi-regular appointments (doctors, optometrist, hairstylist) always seem to trigger the tough response to the most innocent questions.  I think that was part of the reason I was so lax about scheduling this appointment....

As soon as I saw my hairstylist today, she asked how everything was going, and specifically asked about Granty, as she had become aware of his cancer at our last appointment.  When I told her that Granty had passed away, her eyes immediately welled with tears, and she began to stammer, not knowing what to say.  Unfortunately I've become way too accustomed to these situations, so I tried my best to lighten the conversation and told her that I was okay and that good things were going to happen because of Granty's life.  I told her about some of the things we were doing to remember Granty and perpetuate his legacy (Run to Fight Cancer, Grant Hovannisian Memorial Golf Tournament, etc...), and she was impressed and ready to help however she could.

No matter how many times these situations happen, the revelation of Granty's death to people is one of the hardest conversations to have.  As tough as it is to recount his untimely passing, I know it's just as hard for the person hearing about it...there's no instruction manual for what to say about the death of a child.  I have heard countless times, "I'm sorry - I don't know what to say," and I can only reassure the person that I've been living this situation for the past three months, and I still don't know what to say.  All I can do is have faith that things happen for a reason, and I will become a better person as a result of this.

Miss You, Granty!  Really really really wish you were here.

A Must-Buy

Today was a much-anticipated Saturday for Alexa (and myself)....this afternoon was her BFF Gabriella's twin brothers' birthday party, and Alexa absolutely loves going to their house.  I knew it was going to be a long day of waiting when she briefly stepped out of gymnastics class at 9:45am to ask me if it was time for the party (4pm).  Oy...  I was also excited for the party, not only because it was a great celebration for one of the most amazing families I know, but also because I had stumbled across the cutest gifts for the boys.

I was looking for a pair of Toms shoes for Alexa, and while on the website, I decided to see if they had any cute boys shoes.  Wouldn't you know it - - Toms makes an adorable giraffe-printed classic shoe in infant/toddler boys' size.  I immediately snapped up two pairs for the twins; I don't want to overdo the giraffe thing, but these were just too cute to pass up.

As expected, the party was a fantastic time - every element (decorations, cake, goodie bags, food) was so well-thought and perfectly executed.  As Alexa was getting ready for bed, she was recounting the details of the twins' birthday party and the fun she had tonight.  She could not stop laughing about the boys and their Elmo "smash cakes"  - the sight of the boys digging into their cakes was one of the funniest things she had ever seen.  As she settled into bed tonight, she said, "I wish Granty could be BFF's with the twins just like me and Gabriella.  Too bad Granty died."  Funny how she always seems to say the things I'm thinking, maybe not as eloquently nor grammatically correct, but she definitely relays the same sentiments.

A pic of the Tiny Toms - - too cute!
Granty will be enjoying the playground (in a special way)
with his friends as they learn to walk!

Mommy and Me

For the first time since the inception of this blog, I did not create a post last night....  Immediately after flying in from LA, Damon and I had a very long overdue dinner with our friends.  It was a blast to have a kid-free dinner at Eddie V's with them.  Needless to say, by the time we got home from dinner, I was pretty exhausted and could not bring myself to make the update.

Alexa had fallen asleep very early last night - she zonked out in her carseat as Damon drove her home from swimming - so I did not get a chance to spend time with her when I returned from LA.  Needless to say, she was very excited to see me this morning when she woke up.  I have to admit, there is no better feeling than to be greeted with such enthusiasm and exuberance.  And to think that was after I was gone for only two days...I can only imagine the greeting I would receive if I was gone for a week!

In the past few months, Alexa and I have spent more time together than ever before, and our relationship is definitely evolving has she gets older.  It's hilarious to see how much she wants to emulate me and become like me when she gets older - pretending to run on the treadmill, asking me to buy her workout clothes, etc...  Her latest trend involves her perusing my closet and earmarking the clothes and  shoes that she wants me to save for her when she gets older.  I can only imagine her response if I remind her of this "want to be like Mommy" phase eight years from now...I'm sure a 12 year-old Alexa will have a very different viewpoint :).  Until then, I will continue to cherish these moments and enjoy these phases while they last.

Alexa and I enjoying our morning Dunkin Donut "coffees."
Hot chocolate for her, but with a cup and straw "just like Mommy,"

Snow in Scottsdale?!?

Wouldn't you know - - - of all the days I go to LA for business, it actually snowed in Scottsdale.  I could not believe it when Damon texted me during a meeting and told me that it was snowing outside.  It was a wet snow and melted rather quickly, but it's still an anomaly that the Phoenix area had snow.  Unfortunately by the time Alexa was home from school, most of it was melted, and it had started to rain.  Damon said she quickly opted out of playing outside because she didn't want to get her dress wet.  Maybe that one-inch of snow in St. Louis during the Christams holiday spoiled her ;)

It's odd to think that last time I was in LA, I was calling Damon to check-in on Granty or follow-up on an emergency broviac dressing change.  It has been quite a lifestyle change to go from being so hyper-focused on Grant's care to a "normal" existence   The extraordinary things (NG tube, broviac dressing changes, Tuesday chemo sessions) had become ordinary for us.  How quickly life can change!

I'm very proud to announce that my niece Marie Storer is participating in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life at Rockhurst University.  She's going to be walking with her sorority sisters in honor of Granty and other cancer patients and survivors.  If you would like to support Marie, the link to her page is below (I'll talk to her about personalizing it - - that's not her pic...lol):
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLCY13PL?px=31474519&pg=personal&fr_id=48669&__utma=2443503.221498963.1361425445.1361425445.1361425445.1&__utmb=2443503.20.9.1361425781804&__utmc=2443503&__utmx=-&__utmz=2443503.1361425445.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=2443503.|3=registration%20status=registered=1&__utmk=211348374

AZ snow....pic snapped in Damon's car on the 101 Freeway.

Birthday Fever

The combination of the numerous birthday parties we have attended in the past few weeks and her upcoming birthday have elevated Alexa's excitement for her birthday to a new high.  She's been asking me daily for a countdown of days until her birthday (March 5th), and each day I receive the same response..."that's too long!"  She's been describing various elements of what she'd like at her birthday party - balloons, fruit salad with no pineapple, goodie bags for her friends.  Oy.  I knew her birthday obsession had reached an all-time high when at 5am today, she came into my room and told me she wants chocolate-covered strawberries for her birthday.  Interesting - - I'm guessing the Valentine's Day ads must have sparked that idea :)

As hyper-focused as Alexa has become on her own birthday, tonight she realized that Granty will not be celebrating his birthday with us.  I think it was a very startling discovery for her, especially since she's so excited about her own birthday.  The look of shock and sadness on her face nearly broke my heart, but she did perk up when I mentioned that we will do something special to celebrate Granty's big day, something which, of course, will involve cupcakes.  However, she began to pepper me with questions about whether Granty would have a birthday party in heaven, how we would get presents to him, whether he would have balloons and cake in heaven, etc...  I don't think I necessarily had the best answers for her questions, but she seemed satisfied when I simply told her that heaven is a pretty magical place and that I was sure they would have a party in heaven for Granty.

The past few months have been an enlightening experience for me into the mind of a three year-old.  It's amazing to see how many concepts can be grasped at such a young age, and also how she always manages to ask the toughest questions.  I think the most gratifying thing for me is to see how much she thinks about her brother, but also how she is always in the "big sister" protective mode, watching out for his best interests (i.e. making sure Granty has a birthday party).  This little girl unknowingly has been a testament to the love between siblings.  I take a lot of comfort in knowing that she's always watching out for him, and I'm very sure that our Granty is doing the same for her.

Damon's birthday celebration with a two-day-old Granty
(and over-zealous Alexa...lol).

Another Day at the Zoo

Since Alexa was off school today (President's Day) and Damon is out of town, I took the day off work today to spend time with Alexa.  That's one thing that has definitely changed post-Granty - - pre-Granty, we would have signed Alexa up for all-day childcare, but post-Granty either Damon or I take the day off work for school holidays to spend the time with her.  I think we both realize these days are going to become few and far-between as she gets older, and we want to take advantage of the moments with her.

Since we received a family membership to the Phoenix Zoo, I decided Alexa and I would venture out to the zoo and take advantage of another day of beautiful weather.  Alexa's a great walker (she's shunned the stroller since she was 18 months-old), and she had no trouble traipsing around the entire zoo to see all of the animals.  Of course, the commercial elements of the zoo are oftentimes more attractive to a four year-old than the animals - the carousel, a playground, a massive sand-filled play area (ugh)....  Thank goodness for the membership, otherwise I would have been a little peeved to pay the price of admission just to play in a sandbox. lol.

Of course, Granty was on the forefront of our minds, and there were many "Granty moments" throughout our morning at the zoo.  My favorite moment came at our first attraction of the day, the merry-go-round, as Alexa was waiting on the carousel for her ride to begin.  As she sat on the coveted seahorse, she suddenly shrieked, "Hi Granty!  I love you and I miss you, Baby Brother."  Sure enough...off in the distance, I could see the giraffes roaming the Savanna exhibit.  As sad and wistful as these moments make me, I am so happy that she has such a positive reminder and association of our little boy.

After three days of non-stop activity, I think I finally wore Alexa out.  She was asleep in bed by 7:30pm tonight....I don't think I'll be too far behind.  I'm exhausted!

Definitely a Niehoff - - loves her map and has a great sense of direction.

Having a blast on the merry-go-round.

We love our giraffes!

A beautiful reminder of our Granty....

The Great Outdoors

Today was one of those days that makes you realize why Arizonans put up with 120-degree temperatures in August...it was a picture-perfect Sunday with blue skies and temperatures in the 70's.  Beautiful!  Alexa, Alstott and I (Damon's in Las Vegas) spent as much time as we could outdoors going on walks, jumping on the trampoline and even dipping our feet in the pool.  It's too bad a few loads of laundry and grocery shopping had to interrupt our outdoor time :)

As Alexa and I were sitting on the outdoor couch today, I couldn't help but think of my Granty.  Since the chemo weakened his immune system, we would rarely venture out to public places with him, but that didn't stop us from spending a lot of time outdoors.  I think some of my fondest memories of Granty are those I had sitting on the couch playing with him or strapping him in the Baby Bjorn to take Alstott for a walk.  These moments were always about just Granty and me....moments I treasure now more than ever.

Granty also spent a lot of time with his grandmothers - NeNe and Nana Hovey.  Both had spent extended periods of time with us after Grant's diagnosis, and I distinctly recall times they spent outside with our little boy.  Nana Hovey asleep on the outdoor couch or at the playground with us and NeNe playing with Granty after one of his chemo sessions.  Today's gorgeous weather brought back all of these moments with Grant and made me miss him more than ever....

One of my favorite pics - - laughing it up with NeNe post-chemo.

Lounging on the outdoor couch, completely relaxed.
Ready for a safari (or walk around the neighborhood).

Shopping Buddy

After a fun birthday party for one of Alexa's friends at Pump It Up (a party center with inflatable bouncy houses, slides, etc...), I decided to bring Alexa with me to Michaels Craft Store to pick up a few decorative items for her upcoming birthday party.  I knew it was a risky move, seeing as she had been bouncing for three hours straight (gymnastics + Pump It Up), but Michaels was so close, I figured it was worth a shot.  Wow.  I cannot believe how 'easy' things are with just one nearly four year-old...it's almost too easy.

She was extremely well-behaved in Michaels, although she did talk me into purchasing a sticker book and matching Hello Kitty items for her and Gabriella.  It was such a good experience, I decided we could venture into Nordstrom Rack next door .  In Nordstrom Rack, Alexa decided to pretend she was a "helper" (employee) in the store, and she was trying to sell me everything in the store.  It was like I was shopping with a girlfriend - she was telling me whether she liked items I selected and even picking out outfits for me.  Her outfits were a bit over the top - imagine everything with sequins, glitter and sparkly fabric combined - but it was a shopping trip that seemed representative of reaching the next level of childhood for her.  Alexa is definitely not a baby, or even a toddler, any more.

Her clothes shopping had actually started earlier in the day.  While we were waiting for gymnastics class to begin, Alexa ran over to the rack of leotards for sale, and in the very back, there was a giraffe-print leotard.  If it had been her size, she would have owned it for sure.  She really does keep her eyes peeled for anything giraffe - a great reminder of our Granty.

Alexa and a very young (~ 2-months) Granty....
the love was always there with these two.

Stock-Up Time

Being the frugal (sometimes) shopper that I am, I was sure to hit the Target day-after Valentine's Day sale to clean-up on some of the bargains.  Alexa loves to do crafts, so I usually end up buying a lot of stickers and art projects at these day-after sales.  However, knowing that Target had giraffes as a central theme in their Valentine's collection, I knew I would be stocking up on a few more things than normal.  Sure enough - - I found a 'Make a Giraffe' foam sticker kit (one I had never seen before) and a 'Pin the Heart on the Giraffe' game that I think Alexa will enjoy.  I also had to get the cute interlocking giraffe picture frame....as soon as she saw it, Alexa asked if I could put a picture of her and Granty in it.  Sounds like a great plan to me :)

While Alexa and I were eating dinner tonight, she talked a lot about Grant and how much she misses him.  It was sweet to hear her talk about some of her favorite memories of him - how he always grabbed her hair (it was like his hands had hair radar), how she loved to make him smile and laugh, and, of course, bath time received a mention too.  I truly hope these memories stick with her for the rest of her life.  It's bittersweet to hear her talk about them, but it makes me happy to know she holds her brother and the time she had with him, albeit too short, in the highest regard.  He really was the perfect baby brother, and we were all lucky to have him in our lives.

My giraffe finds from Target....what a perfect theme!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

With a spouse in the restaurant business, you quickly adapt to the realization that everyone's holidays are not exactly your holidays.  Damon and I are going out on a much-anticipated "date night" with friends next Thursday night, so that will more than compensate for our day apart today.

Alexa and I had a good Valentine's Day date night: swimming lessons followed by grilled chicken at Chick Fil-A - - quite the romantic evening.  Swimming lessons continue to go well; the two classes of week seem to be helping and pool time will increase as the weather gets warmer (I'm a wimp about swimming in the cold, even when the water's warm).  I had to laugh during the lessons, because I could tell from her exaggerated motions that she was telling Coach Anthony about her unexpected haircut yesterday.  Looks like her storytelling is already starting...

My sister-in-law Gia made sure Granty celebrated Valentine's Day too.  She stopped by his grave and brought some garland red hearts and flowers for our boy.  Oh how we all miss him!

My three Valentines.....(the fourth is Alstott, of course!)

Not A Bang-Up Job

I received the dreaded call from Alexa's teacher late this afternoon.  I answered the phone expecting to hear that Alexa had fallen on the playground or that she and Gabriella had gotten into one of their tiffs.  Rather, I received much worse news....one of Alexa's classmates had cut her hair.  Needless to say, after my initial, "You've got to be kidding me" response, I was not all too pleased with the news.  The four-year picture session (since we didn't have one in December) was immediately scrapped.  Oy.

The teacher said this was the first time ever that a student had cut anyone's hair but their own - lucky Alexa.  I know she felt badly and all scissors have since been removed from the classroom, but I was dreading what I might see when I picked Alexa up tonight.

It could have been worse, but it was definitely a noticeable haircut.  In addition to choppy layers around her head, Alexa was sporting the thing I dreaded seeing most - - - bangs!  Not wanting Alexa to have the horrible bangs that I had as a child (no offense to my mother...I know they were the style at the time), I worked very hard over the past four years to make sure she was bang-free. I cannot tell you how much I've spent on clips, rubber bands and bows in an attempt to keep her hair out of her face and avoid cutting bangs.  It's a little disheartening to know that four years of my efforts were wiped out in a few moments.  Sigh.

My kids have not had the best of luck with haircuts - poor Granty had two haircuts from the Neurosurgery department and now Alexa's had a four year-old cut her hair.  Oy.  However, if I have learned anything from the past six months, it's that life is way too short, and we cannot sweat the small stuff.  Time to buy more (smaller) clips to pull back the bangs and just wait for her hair to regrow.

A shot of the new 'do' (or don't).

A Girls' Night Out

Tonight was a long-awaited Girls' Night Out for me thanks to my friend Jenny.  She meets on a regular basis with a group of girlfriends, and tonight's event was an early Valentine's Day party - - a champagne tasting.  It was wonderful to meet such a great group of girls and enjoy some delicious food (lots of desserts!) and champagne.  The night was exactly what I needed after the past few months and was a nice break from the normal evening routine.  I even took a night off from the treadmill!

Daddy Damon filled in pretty well for me tonight - - he took Alexa to a make-up gymnastics class (a lot less painful than swimming) and dinner following the lesson.  Of all places to go for dinner, the dynamic duo opted for IHOP.  I couldn't let go completely, as I had to get Damon's assurance that he would order Alexa eggs for dinner (trying to keep it somewhat healthy...tonight wasn't benefiting PCH).    I had to laugh when Damon texted me that Alexa was the youngest person in IHOP by ~ 97 years; welcome to Scottsdale :)  Alexa was sleeping soundly when I came home tonight at 9:30, so I will chalk that up as a successful night.

A happy girl - dinner with Daddy in a restaurant!

A Song for Everything

Alexa has entered a very melodious phase in which she seems to sing everything.  The songs range from radio songs (she loves the "Call Me Maybe" song) to random, impromptu songs that usually leave something to be desired in the 'harmonious' department.  However, I think Damon and I would both agree that in our unrelenting grieving process, Alexa's voice is truly music to our ears (pardon the pun).

On Saturday evening, Alexa and I were at Target picking up the final elements for her Valentines that she'll pass out to her classmates.  She was walking alongside me, singing about everything in the store that we passed en route to the holiday section in the back of the store.  I guess she became bored singing about bags of candy, because she suddenly began to sing about herself.  I thought nothing of it until her lyrics became, "My name is Alexa.  I am a big sister.  I had a baby brother, but he died."  I frantically shushed, and looked around to make sure no one was in proximity to have heard the song. Oy...we don't discourage her from talking about Granty, but I'm hopeful lyrics about his death were a one-time occurrence.  I can only imagine the reactions we would get if such a sad and serious topic was being belted out in song by a three year-old.  I wish more than anything that she didn't know about death well-before her years and only knew to sing about rainbows, butterflies, etc...

Always performing..."modeling" one of my dresses...
(for the record, it's backwards -it doesn't have a front cut-out.  lol)

The Power of a Daddy

Today reinforced why Sunday, especially when Damon has off work, is my favorite day of the week.  Aside from Alexa's swimming lesson at 11am (a great success since BFF Gabriella's in her class now), we had nothing planned for the day - a perfect Sunday.  Our family actually ate all three meals together, a feat that rarely happens, and even went on a family walk tonight with Alstott.  All in all, a great day!

Damon seems to have some magical power over Alexa when it comes to getting her to take a nap.  Even if Alexa is admittedly tired, she never takes a nap for me...usually I just have to grin and bear it until bedtime and hope that she snaps out of it.  Damon, however, is a different story.  I have no idea how he does it, but around 2pm, I noticed the house became strangely quiet.  Sure enough, I went into the master bedroom, and Alexa was sound asleep on Damon's shoulder while he worked on his computer.   It was a very cute scene; this little girl does love her Daddy.

Sound asleep on Daddy's shoulder.

I Heart Giraffes

My struggles with cooking and baking have been pretty well-documented; you may remember Alexa passed up some homemade cookies...they were that bad.  Tonight I decided to re-attempt sugar cookies and made Valentine's cookies with Alexa.  I did learn my lesson from my prior experience, and I wisely used a mix (just add butter and egg) to make the cookies instead of relying on my kitchen prowess.  Although I mistakenly used too much butter (drop cookie instead of cutout cookie recipe), they turned out pretty well....just a little puffy, but edible!

When Alexa and I were combing through the cooking cutter collection, she stumbled across a giraffe cookie cutter.  Without hesitation, Alexa selected the butterfly, giraffe and heart cookie cutters, bringing a huge smile to my face.  I love the pose she struck when I took a picture of her with the finished product of our baking endeavor, "I Heart Giraffes."

I think Alexa has brought something giraffe-related for the weekly Show-and-Tell since the beginning of December: stuffed giraffes, a giraffe ornament, giraffe books, etc...  I can envision her classmates groaning when Alexa gets up to talk about her item, saying "Giraffes again!?!"  However, since her classroom contributed to buy three giraffe adoptions in honor of Granty (San Diego, Phoenix, Tuscon), I'm sure there is a new-found love of giraffes in her class as well :)

I Heart Giraffes.

So happy that Mommy used a mix this time.

Good Things Are Happening

Since Grant's initial diagnosis, I always said that good things were going to happen because of Granty's life, and today definitely reiterated the point and really inspired me.  This morning my niece Marie, a freshman at Rockhurst University in Kansas City, texted me to let me know she would be doing the Relay for Life in honor of Granty.  Tonight, Damon's brother Vincent contacted me about a golf outing he wants to plan to benefit Phoenix Children's Hospital; he already has a plan developed and budgeted.  Awesome.  Knowing that good things are being done in honor of Granty helps to buffer the sadness and boost our spirits. 

On March 9th, we'll be participating in the Run to Fight Children's Cancer that benefits Phoenix Children's Hospital and the Children's Cancer Network.  Because it's Alexa's birthday party weekend, her grandparents will be in town and have already assured me they will do the 5k Walk (not Run) with Damon and Alexa...I will be doing the 5k Run.  In case anyone is interested in participating, here's the link to the website for the event, including the registration info (on-line or mail-in [saves fees]): http://www.runtofightcancer.com/.  I've set up the team Granty's Giraffes, so please make sure to select/specify the team on the registration form.  It sounds like a great event and a good way to spend an early (7:30am start for the 5k Run/Walk) Saturday morning.

For out of town people, if Alexa's birthday party and Spring Training aren't enough to lure you to AZ for the weekend (haha), you can donate and support team Granty's Giraffes at the following site (everything is 100% tax-deductible)  http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/GrantysGiraffes/run-to-fight-childrens-cancer.

The boy who's inspiring all of us.....

Being Neighborly

When Damon and I lived in Orange County, we barely knew our neighbors...just the chatty guy next door with a much talked about but never-seen mother (very Norman Bates).  In New Jersey, we were immersed in the East Coast neighborhood culture, even sharing a deck with the people next door, and we became very dear friends with some of our neighbors.  I've embraced the neighborly behaviors here in Arizona, and I have gotten to know several neighbors quite well through walking Alstott or playing with Alexa.  Damon jokes that I will be running for office of our Association at the next election.

Our neighbors were wonderful during the ordeal with Granty, and as a result, I have gotten to know many of them even better (once again, good things happen because of Granty).  On Saturday night, Damon came home from work around 10:30pm and told me there were five cop cars two doors down.  Yikes!  It turns out their house was burglarized, and there have been two other break-ins of houses backing to the wash (open space...no back neighbors).  Needless to say, it's been a nerve-racking experience, and our alarm system and backyard lighting have been on non-stop since Saturday.  However, all of the neighbors seem to be banding together and keeping a vigilant eye on each others' homes.

The neighbors came through again tonight.  After I picked Alexa up from Aftercare, we swung by the house quickly to change into swimwear and grab a quick snack.  There was a package from Amazon.com at the front door, so Alexa went to get it, and I didn't realize that she hadn't closed the door tightly when she came back into the house.  Tonight, when we got home from swimming, our neighbor had left a note in the kitchen saying that she found Alstott wandering the neighborhood and our front door wide open.  Thankfully, everything was fine..whew!  When I called to thank her, she said Alstott had run away from some of the boys who were trying to grab him, but as soon as Alstott saw her, he ran to her immediately.  Apparently Alstott's also taken up the neighborly behaviors. :)

SWIM UPDATE:
I'm ecstatic to report that Alexa has had two sequential tear-free swimming lessons....finally!  Tonight she was not too pleased to be going to swim, and after a little prodding to get her onto the pool deck, she was all-smiles as Coach Anthony splashed her with water.  Yeah!  Even though it's only been two lessons, I think we might have turned a corner with swimming lessons.  BFF Gabriella will be joining Alexa for lessons on Sundays (Coach Nick has no idea what he's in for), so I'm hopeful that good old-fashioned peer pressure might convince her to shed her fears.  Fingers are crossed!

Alstott - the ferocious guard dog.
Keeping guard of one of our most valuable assets....
(still trying to find the perfect spot to hang this poster)

Granty's Room

Alexa was Miss Cranky when I picked her up from school tonight, and she earned a timeout in her room tonight for some not-so-nice behavior.  It became very quiet in her room, which is unusual for Alexa's timeouts....typically she's in her room sobbing and yelling "I'm sorry, Mommy!" when she's in her three-minute timeout sessions (one minute for every year-old).  I became a little nervous when I heard nothing, so I went into her room but didn't see her there.  She had gone through the Jack-and-Jill bathroom connecting her room to Granty's bedroom, and she was sitting on the floor of Grant's nursery playing with his rain forest playmat.  As soon as I entered the room, Alexa said, "This was one of Granty's favorite things, Mommy.  I miss him so much.  Why did he have to die?"  Ugh - the dreaded question for which I wish I knew the answer.  Thankfully, Alexa became distracted by Alstott in the bathroom, so I was able to avoid the tough question.  However, as I turned off the light and shut the door to his room, Alexa looked at me and said, "We're going to try to have another baby, right?"  Oy - tough night.

I rarely go into Granty's room...it's too sad because there are so many reminders of him and what should have been.  I've always prided myself in shopping the sales for the kids and having the foresight to buy clothes in advance of when they'll fit into them, so Granty's room has a closet and armoire full of clothes and shoes sizes 6-months and up.  I was set to have a preppy little boy and had the closet to prove it - it's hard to believe he won't ever wear the little Cole Haan loafers or navy peacoat I picked out for him.

In time I'm sure Damon and I will figure out what we'll do with Granty's room.  Right now, it stands as a memorial to our little guy and the wonderful times we had playing in there.

Twice the fun in Granty's crib.
(Notice he's clutching his giraffe blankie. :))

Pancakes for a Cause

Today IHOP hosted its National Pancake Day at which patrons receive a free stack of buttermilk pancakes in exchange for a donation that benefits a Children's Miracle Network Hospital.  In the Phoenix area, the hospital receiving the donations was Phoenix Children's Hospital, so I had all intentions of taking Alexa to IHOP for dinner tonight.  Normally pancakes would not fit criteria for a healthy dinner, but since it benefits such a great cause, I figured we could make an exception this one time.

However, as with many things in my life, the evening didn't go quite according to plan.  When I picked up Alexa from school tonight, she had a borderline temperature and was in a terrible mood.  I figured it would only compound things if I took her to IHOP for "boring" plain pancakes, because I'm pretty sure Alexa and Damon have been to IHOP for their kid's Funny Face pancakes.  I had a feeling the menu restriction would have put her over the edge and led to a complete meltdown.  Not my idea of a fun evening out.

So, I decided to host my own pancake dinner for Alexa, complete with blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes.  Of course, they were "Connie" pancakes made with Light Bisquick - - not quite the IHOP taste, but I'm sure they have fewer calories.  I even made some scrambled eggs as a side for Alexa (real eggs because we were out of EggBeaters - lol).

My pancake night turned out to be a hit!  Alexa thought it was hilarious that we were having breakfast for dinner, and her mood improved ten-fold when she saw me making the pancake batter.  This was a heck of a lot easier than facing the crowds at IHOP, and I simply made an online donation to Phoenix Children's Hospital in Granty's name to ensure these were pancakes for a good cause. :)

Alexa with her eggs and huge pancakes
(those are mini blueberries - not a pile of chocolate chips.)

G-I-R-A-F-F-E

Damon's cousin Ani relayed a story to him that I absolutely love...if there's any doubt about the power of our precious little Granty.

Vahan, the son of Damon's cousin Garo, was participating in a championship spelling bee on Friday.  He was the top speller from his middle school (amazing to think that a three year-old Vahan was a ring bearer in our wedding!) and moved on to participate in a competition of over 100 schools.  Of all the words in the dictionary, the first word Vahan was asked to spell was "giraffe."  Pretty amazing.  This story brings a smile to my face whenever I think about it....signs of Granty really are everywhere.

Our resident giraffe - - our friends gave Alexa a giraffe
ensemble complete with ears, bow tie and tail.  So cute!

Happy Eight-Month Birthday!

Happy Eight-Month Birthday, Granty!  It seems like June 3rd was a long time ago, not just eight short months.  Fittingly, tonight we attended a Super Bowl party at the home of friends with whom we'd become (sort of re-) acquainted because of Granty.  Good things truly did come about because of him....

All weekend, Alexa's been planning her birthday party, trying to decide what theme she wants, the kind of cake, etc...  I think she's settled on a gymnastics-themed party, so the two of us spent a lot of time looking at party ideas on the Internet.  I have always loved planning her birthday parties and devoting way more time than I probably should to ensuring the perfect party.  From the hand-drawn design for her first birthday cake, to the Sesame Street cutouts for her second birthday, to making over 100+ cake pops for her third birthday, I absolutely love doing these seemingly over-the-top things to make sure it has the perfect "Connie" touch.  I think I'm nearly as excited as Alexa for her fourth birthday...this gymnastics theme is going to be fun!

Whether it was the thought of party planning or the creative things Alexa and I saw on the Internet (Pinterest.com is brimming with pretty amazing ideas), I decided that I would bring something different to the Super Bowl party.  As I tapped into my creative juices (and the Kellogg's website) to make Cocoa Rice Krispies footballs, I could only surmise what types of things I would be doing for Granty's parties.  I have become pretty good with the girlie things, so it would have been quite a change to focus on boys' themes like sports, superheroes, trucks...

Happy Eight-Month Birthday, Granty!  Those Rice Krispies footballs were definitely in honor of you, my little boy!

Our angel is born - June 3, 2012....one of the happiest days of my life.

The Rice Krispies footballs (my piping was a bit rushed...)

Bouncing Around

Today was a day Alexa had been awaiting for a long time - - gymnastics class in the morning and Emma's birthday party in the afternoon.  Emma's party was at Airtime, a trampoline park, so Alexa's day was chock-full of tumbling and bouncing.  Airtime had a section reserved for the younger kids, complete with a trampoline/tumbling track and two bouncy houses with slides....Alexa was in heaven.  She jumped around for nearly two hours with her friends and polished off two fairy-themed cupcakes.  Pure happiness.  However, the busy day caught up with Alexa, as she nearly feel asleep in her bowl of chicken noodle soup at Paradise Bakery tonight.  By 7:45pm, she was sound asleep on the couch, snoring lightly.

As we were getting ready to leave the party tonight, one of the mothers had strapped her infant daughter in her carrier and went off to corral her rambunctious toddler.  The baby girl, who was just shy of six-months-old (exactly Grant's age), started to get a little fussy.  Alexa immediately jumped in and started talking to the baby, cooing and doing all of the things she used to do with Grant.   Sure enough, the baby girl stopped crying immediately and began smiling, laughing and grabbing at Alexa....exactly the same way Granty responded to her.  Alexa was so proud of herself for making the baby happy.  It was a very sweet moment, and, as I expected, as we drove home from the party, Alexa reiterated how much she misses Granty.

When I relayed the story to Damon, he mentioned Alexa had been talking about Grant on the way to gymnastics this morning - asking about heaven, why Granty didn't come home from the hospital since he had come home previous times, why Granty had to die, etc...   There's no doubt this little boy is in all of our hearts, forever "Baby Granty."

Striking a sassy pose before Emma's party.
(She was so excited to wear her Valentine's
'Hello Kitty' shirt & sparkle tennis shoes.)

Alexa's Plea Deal

I will not be surprised if Alexa becomes a lawyer when she grows up; this little girl tries to negotiate everything! I feel like I'm in the midst of "let's make a deal" whenever Alexa has her mind set on something.

Tonight we went to Toys-R-Us to pick out a birthday present for her friend Emma, whose birthday party we'll be attending tomorrow afternoon. On the way there, I let Alexa know that we were going there solely for the purpose of getting a gift for Emma - nothing else. She happily agreed, but unbeknownst to me, she was plotting her strategy for finagling a new toy for herself.

As soon as we entered the store, she shot me "the look" and asked if she could have one thing. I reminded her why we were at the store and what we had agreed in the car, but that didn't prevent her from offering her first proposal - that I could buy matching presents for her and Emma so they could play together.  I quickly ix-nayed this office and corralled her to the doll aisle to select the gift for Emma.  She persisted and proposed an alternate idea of buying her something as an early birthday present (her birthday's March 5th).  After I rejected her second idea, she was getting frustrated and began talking aloud to herself.  After a couple of minutes, she came forward with her third and final proposal - she could use the money in her piggy bank to buy something.  Despite my best efforts to explain the value and importance of saving money, we left with a $5 ribbon streamer (like the one used in rhythmic gymnastics).

If she's negotiating this well at three years-old, I can only imagine what her teenage years will be like. It's a good thing we'll have Granty watching over us - maybe he can help his mom out. :)

"The Look" - - always up to something!

Nine Months!?!

Thursday now means one thing for Alexa.....swimming lessons.

The morning did not start off too well - as I was making Alexa's lunch, I reminded her that I would be taking her to swim tonight, a mention that resulted in a pre-7am sob-fest. Ugh. Needless to say, she wasn't too excited to see me when I picked her up from Aftercare tonight, especially since I interrupted her mid-painting.

Her lesson was at 6pm tonight, and she fell asleep in the car on the way to swimming. Under any other circumstance, I would have blown it off and let her sleep, but there was no way I was going to let her miss a swimming lesson. The coupling of swim and a freshly awoken Alexa was not a good combination. She began crying hysterically as the kids began to line up and grabbed my pants with a death-grip. A sweet classmate even tried to make her feel better by coming over to Alexa and telling her how "cool" Coach Anthony is, but Alexa wanted no part of it. The manager ended up carrying her into the lesson, as I just shook my head.

Apparently all of the other mothers felt badly for me, and they began to share stories of how their kids needed a few weeks to adjust to lessons. When I told them Alexa had been taking lessons for nine-months, I generated a lot of "OMG - nine months!?!" responses and catapulted to a new level of sympathy with the ladies. Oh well - - I would much rather have sympathy than condescending glances ;)

Thankfully Coach Anthony worked his magic on Alexa, and she stopped crying as soon as she was in the water with him. The lesson ended up going very well, and Coach Anthony was pushing Alexa to try some new skills and gain confidence. Despite the rough start, Alexa was very proud of herself, proclaiming, "I did a great job!" when I met her at the showers. I think we're making process; I'm winning this battle of wills!

Alexa's first swimming lesson....nine (long) months later,
and the lessons are still starting the same way.