One Year Later

I am in Los Angeles for business meetings this week, so thankfully Nana Hovey made the trip to Scottsdale to stay with Alexa for three days.  I have a feeling Nana will be teaching Alexa some good techniques for saying her "L's" and "R's" over the next few days.

My trip to LA has felt a bittersweet.  Last year I was not able to attend the meetings, as I was too far along in my pregnancy to travel.  Rather, I spent 10+ hours on the phone each day, dialed into each meeting and breakout session.  Although it is nice to attend the meetings in-person - being on the phone for 10-hours each day was brutal - it still elicits some tough emotions to think about what has happened in just twelve short months.

Tonight's "team-building" activity was the Dodgers-Nationals game; I was bummed these meetings were not next week when the Dodgers play the Cardinals.  However, it was Matt Kemp Bobblehead Night, so I do have my brother-in-law Larry's birthday (in August) shopping complete.  It was a fun game and had a good turnout, but it was no Cardinals game...lol.

I found this picture of Granty on my computer
today...cuddling with Fredbird.  So peaceful.

Meaningful Art

While I was signing Alexa out of Aftercare today, one of her classmates greeted me outside the classroom.  I  see this five year-old girl daily, but out of nowhere, she asked me, "Mrs. Alexa's Mom.  Did Alexa's baby brother like the pictures we made for him?"  I was initially taken aback, but I made sure to let her know that Granty loved all of the beautiful pictures that were made for him.  This simple question really touched me, and I thought about it as Alexa and I drove home.  The children have probably made hundreds of art projects in the past few months, and I was shocked that one of her classmates remembered this activity from October.  Alexa's teachers were so important to our family during those rough few months, and I remember how excited Alexa was the day she came home with the pictures that all of her friends had drawn for her baby brother in the hospital.  It was nice to know the importance of the pictures for Granty resonated with her classmates as well....

As I was putting Alexa to bed tonight, reminding her that I am leaving for Los Angeles for a couple of days, she asked me if Los Angeles was close to heaven.  I had to smile (my CA-born girl obviously doesn't remember the 405 in rush hour traffic...lol), and I reminded her that Granty is always with us in our hearts.  :)

Forever in our hearts....

 

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

I vividly remember Damon and I remarking that 2012 would be my last Mother's Day with only one child; sadly, I awoke to one only smiling face again this year.  Today was definitely one of bittersweet celebration, however, I am fortunate to have a wonderful family and friends with whom I was able to spend the day.  Alexa made some beautiful Mother's Day art projects at school that I had seen on Friday, but she was very excited to re-gift them to me again today.  Damon went to two Paradise Bakeries (Panera) to find my special Mother's Day breakfast - - a cinnamon crunch bagel (terrible in the nutrition department, but so good!).  The afternoon was spent with Jenny and Laura, lounging poolside at the Talking Stick Resort.  All things considered, it was a wonderful day....I could not have asked for anything more!  I am truly blessed.

Granty did leave me a gift for which I will be forever grateful - - he made me a better mother.  This little boy brought out the best in me, helping me realize characteristics I never knew I had, and allowing me to recognize the strength that I possess.  He taught me a new perspective on life, forced me to conquer my fears head-on and instilled a sense of gratitude in me to recognize all that is good in my life.  Alexa (& hopefully future sibling(s)) will have a better mom thanks to our beloved Granty.

The loves of my life - - on vacation in San Diego.

XOXO Granty

Crash Landing

The windows of our home are apparently magnets for birds; the number of birds that crash into our windows is truly astounding.  Thankfully most of the birds are able to recover from their perilous flights, but there are a few that aren't so lucky.

While Alexa was eating a bowl of cereal before swimming lessons this morning, sure enough, a bird flew straight into the bank of windows by the kitchen table.  It was obvious from the onset that this one was not going to recover, so Damon and I immediately jumped into action, both desperate to shield Alexa from another experience with death.  She asked if the bird was going to die, but we both reassured her that he would probably get back up and fly away after bonking his head.  Meanwhile, I took her to brush her teeth while Damon went out back to make sure the bird "flew" away.  Needless to say, Alexa was thrilled to see the bird had recovered and flown away safely.

Ever since Alexa was forced to deal with topics well-beyond her years, Damon and I have been extremely protective, probably a bit overly-protective, to make sure she does not have to hear about death and dying.  The other day she told me she was "playing dead," and I quickly let her know that games about death were not allowed in our house, as death is not a topic about which to joke.  Yes, I probably overreacted, but it is a tough balance to find with this topic.  The wounds of Granty's death are very raw with all of us.  Besides, I'm okay if she's a little sheltered for awhile... :)

The first meeting in an all-too-short courtship.

Small World

Sometimes I feel like Alexa's swimming lessons are my second career...because she missed her lesson last Saturday, she has lessons three consecutive days this week - Thursday, Friday (make-up) and Saturday.  Whew!  I am looking forward to a break after swim and gymnastics tomorrow morning....

At swimming tonight, I happened to be sitting next to a mother whose four year-old son was in the class a lane over from Alexa.  Unlike Alexa, her son loves the water, so the mother felt terrible when she saw Alexa crying on the pool deck, as Alexa wasn't too sure about the coach-in-training that was helping with her lesson tonight.  Soon, she had a cheering section of myself and the other mother rooting her on and applauding the progress she was making in the pool.

In the course of my small-talk conversation with the mother, she somehow brought up that she used to work at Phoenix Children's Hospital.  I asked her what floor/department she worked at PCH, and she mentioned that she had worked on a number of units via the Child Life department.  Without any prompting, she said Oncology and the ICU were the toughest floors for her.  I initially hesitated, but I told her that our family had a lot of experience with PCH, specifically the two departments she mentioned, and relayed what amazing work they do.  As we walked to the showers to meet the kids, she told me how rewarding it was to hear my comments and personal stories about the impact of her former department.  According to her, it made her weekend. :)

Granty in Room 6105 - - - bouncing in the Jungle Seat from the Child Life department.

Home Videos

Damon was playing around with his computer today and began consolidating some of our family videos into his iTunes account.  As you might expect, the star of most of the videos was our first-born, Alexa.  It was fun to watch these videos of Alexa as a baby and a toddler and see the resemblances to the four year-old little girl we have today.  Although she has obviously grown up,  the similarities between "Baby Alexa" and "Pre-School Alexa" are undeniable....the same smirk, mischievous grin and silly laugh.  Knowing how similar Alexa and Granty looked, it was hard not to think of Granty as I watched Alexa grow and mature in those home videos.

When Damon turned on the video of Alexa's first birthday party, it made me too sad - - I had to ask him to turn it off.  As much as  I loved seeing Alexa's smiling (& very round) face in the video, it was too hard for me to watch knowing that we should be having that same experience with Granty in just a few weeks.  I wish Granty had been given the opportunity to have these same milestones in his life.

I know I will never fully be able to rationalize or understand why Granty was dealt such a tough card.  I can only continue to try to build upon his legacy and remember the lessons he taught all of us; I am a better person because of this remarkable little boy and the five months I had with him.  Selfishly, I still wish he was here....

Lounging on the couch - - the smirk is apparently genetic.

What an Event!

The preliminary totals are in, and I am ecstatic to announce that the Grant Hovannisian Memorial Golf Tournament will generate well-over $20,000 for Phoenix Children's Hospital.  Wow...truly amazing! Damon and I are beyond grateful for the generosity that people showed to benefit a place so close to our hearts.

Not only were we fortunate enough to have a renowned children's hospital in our local area with world-class facilities and physicians, but the people we encountered at Phoenix Children's Hospital truly defined our experience.  The compassion and respect they showed to Granty, as well as our entire family, will resonate with me for the rest of my life.

The "adorable baby in 6105" (later 6108) had no problem attracting fans, but interest did not simply stop with Granty.  Not only did everyone know our names, but they also knew that Granty had a big sister and made sure Alexa was made to feel special.  Not only did the staff compile a collection of books and toys for Granty, but they also made sure that Alexa also received books, stuffed animals, care packages, etc...  Despite the sadness of the reason we were there, we did have many heartfelt moments at PCH, like the wagon Nurse Mandy made-up for Grant's parade around the PICU unit, our family Thanksgiving on the hospital patio, Jenny of the Child Life department imprinting Granty's footprints in clay as a keepsake...the list is endless.

During Granty's final days, Damon and I made the decision to stay at the hospital, rather than a hospice house or at-home care, because it was the place we felt most comfortable.  It speaks volumes that we wanted to stay at PCH, and even more remarkably, the staff at the hospital was more than happy to accommodate to our request.  The staff arranged for a coffee cart and food in Grant's PICU room to ensure that we would not have to spend a moment away from him.  The attending PICU doctor continued to make frequent visits into the room, not only to check on Grant, but also to ensure that Damon and I were doing okay.

I hope we will never have to experience Phoenix Children's Hospital again, but I am grateful for everything PCH and its staff did for Grant and our family.  I am proud that Granty's legacy will continue at such an amazing place.

Quite the legacy!