Unexpected Sentiment

Game 1 didn't turn out as I had been hoping, but let's hope the Cardinals worked out their nerves and kinks tonight.  Today was a rough day all-around (the game was just the icing on the cake), as it was one of those days where I missed Granty more than ever.

I was on the treadmill tonight and found myself staring at the poster-sized picture of Granty that hangs nearby; his absence hit me like a ton of bricks.  The picture [the one of Granty in his monkey bouncer wearing his Cardinals bib and onesie] has always been one of my favorites - it captures the sparkle in his eye and joyous spirit.  Granty had such a vivacious personality, and I miss those grins he used to shoot my direction every time he heard my voice or saw me enter the room.  Even though nearly eleven months have passed, I continue to miss my boy each and every day....there's a void in my heart that will never be filled.  I'd give anything to have my baby boy back.

As I began packing for our upcoming trip, I pulled a laundry basket from my closet that held a lot of my "winter" (per Arizona standards) clothes.  Buried in the bottom of the basket, I found one of Granty's onesies and couldn't hold back my tears, triggering a chain reaction from Damon.  The onesie was an emergency purchase from a day that Damon had taken Grant to the restaurant with him and forgotten to pack a spare outfit in the diaper bag.  Thank goodness he works near Fashion Square, because a hostess was able to run to BabyGap and pick up a newborn-size onesie (he was probably eight-weeks old).  As I pulled the onesie out of the basket, it was dual reminder of how tiny our little guy was and also the vivid memories we have of so many moments of his life.  Who knew a Gap onesie could trigger such sentiment?

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day...for the Cardinals too!

Sporting the Gap onesie I found in the laundry basket....
There's no denying the love between these two kiddos!

Social Lunch

As I unpacked Alexa's lunchbag today, we had our normal nightly discussion about her day at school, the lessons she completed and books she read.  She also gave me the rundown on the social scene in Ms. LeAnna's class, letting me know with whom she ate lunch and played during recess.  Tonight, she decided to turn the tables on me, asking me about my day at work and whether I completed any "challenging work" (a reference to the more difficult activities at her Montessori school).  I don't think she was too impressed when I provided her with a recap of my day, as she described my conference calls and meetings as "boring!"  Uninterested by my workday, she decided to take a different approach and ask about my lunch....little did I know that the conversation would spark controversy with Alexa.

"What friends did you eat lunch with today, Mommy?"  I explained to Alexa that I don't usually take a break for lunch and work in my office while I eat.  She responded incredulously, "By yourself!?"  I reminded her that I have to pick her up from school by 6pm each night, so I work through lunch to make sure I can get all of my work done.  "That's so sad, Mommy.  I eat lunch with my friends at school every day."  Great....my four year-old thinks I'm pathetic.  Something tells me I'm going to hear this a lot more from a teenage Alexa.

I redeemed myself slightly when I told her I ate my one sweet for the day at lunch (sweets aren't allowed at her school), as she was impressed that sweets are allowed at my office.  Whew - at least there's still hope for me!

Always up for social eating!

Jam-Packed

It was a whirlwind weekend, as my in-laws came to Arizona for a visit.  From the moment they picked Alexa up from Aftercare on Friday night (allowing me to squeeze in some extra time at work), it was a weekend full of activities.  Alexa had been anticipating their visit for weeks and created a long to-do list of things she wanted to do when Nana and Papa Hovey were in-town.  She took full-advantage of her time with them, as even their trip home from school was eventful - - the three of them came home after a quick detour toting a huge pumpkin and Halloween decorations for the house.  Not a bad start to the weekend!

Over the course of the weekend, Alexa engaged her grandparents in a variety of activities - from swimming in the pool to bike rides (even Nana Hovey rode a bike!) to pumpkin carving to a Sunday afternoon barbecue, there was not a dull moment to be had.  Damon and I could not stop laughing on Sunday morning, as before 9am, Alexa and Vernon had each eaten 1/4 of a chocolate Look! bar (that was Vernon's idea), gone for a bike ride and taken a dip in the pool.  I was not surprised when I found Alexa curled up in her bed at noon, "just taking a little rest."

When I picked up Alexa from school tonight, it was pretty obvious that she was a tired little girl.  She exclaimed, "I am so exhausted, Mommy...I didn't get any rest this weekend.  I need a break!"  I don't think I have ever heard my personal Energizer Bunny make a statement like that - - she must be tired.  It also sounds like she's been hanging out with her pregnant mom a little too much...lol

Alexa and Papa Hovey show off their pumpkin carving handiwork.

Time to Break Out the Shoes....

Damon will need to dust off his lucky World Series shoes because we'll be headed to St. Louis next weekend!

The rainy, not to mention freezing cold, weather of the 2006 World Series forced Damon to buy a pair of shoes while we were in St. Louis for that WS, and after the Cardinals won the series and game we attended, Damon declared, "It's gotta be the shoes..."  The shoes once again proved to be lucky in 2011 when we were able  to attend Games 6 & 7 and saw the Cardinals win again.  We'll be flying to St. Louis to go to Games  & 5 of this year's World Series, and I can guarantee the shoes will be the first thing packed in Damon's suitcase.

Alexa likely won't attend the games with Damon and myself, but I know she will be ecstatic to go to St. Louis.  Several days ago I mentioned that we might be taking a trip to St. Louis for the World Series, and she asked if she would be able to play in the leaves there.  It turns out, her razor-sharp memory recalled our trip two-years ago, and one of the highlights for her was playing in the leaves during a neighborhood Halloween party.  Simple joy for a girl growing up in the desert!

Our little Cardinals fan...rooting from above :)

Spoiled

As January approaches (and my bump seems to grow daily), the reality of another baby is starting to sink in for Damon and myself.  Baby #3 will never ever replace our beloved Granty, but we are becoming excited about the joy this little girl will bring to our family.  Alexa especially will benefit with our newest addition, as she enjoyed the big sibling role with Granty, and now that she's older, I am sure she will cherish the role even more.  Alexa is definitely not cut out to be a pseudo-only child....

Tonight I was making a stir-fry noodle dish for dinner, and Alexa of course was in the kitchen, monitoring my every move.  She peered into the wok as the meal cooked to ensure everything was to her liking, and she gasped in horror as she saw red peppers in the vegetable mix.  Much to my dismay, the little girl who used to try everything has slowly become a picky eater over the past year or so.  I'm convinced it's purely a mental/visual aversion, and I'm still trying to figure out how to work through it with her.

I tried the "you used to eat them" tactic tonight, reminding Alexa she used to sample foods at her NJ Montessori school (her toddler classroom had daily food tastings) and has eaten peppers many times.  She begrudgingly put a pepper in her mouth and spit it out within two seconds - Alstott hastily grabbed the rejected pepper from the floor, so at least it didn't go to waste.  Alexa noticed my frustration and tried to explain her food aversion, "I used to try foods before, but now I'm spoiled so I don't anymore."  Oy...we've got a big problem if Alexa's classifying herself as spoiled.

Yep - it's definitely time for Alexa to have another sibling and break out of the only child mode to which she's become accustomed during the past 11-months.  It might be a little bit of a shock when she realizes that she has to share the spotlight and my attention each night.  Something tells me she won't be referring to herself as spoiled eight months from now :)

The crib will be a little tighter squeeze for Alexa this time around....

Vast Interests

Tuesdays have quickly become one of Alexa's favorite days of the week - - she actually looks forward to swimming lessons (what a change!) and the television show she's been waiting months to see finally began its new season tonight - 'The Biggest Loser.'  I don't know of too many four year-olds who enjoy watching adults lose weight, but Alexa absolutely loves "The Treadmill Show."  The two of us completed a workout while we watched the show, so it proved to be a nice bonding experience.  She had me cracking up as she noted, "They cry a lot on this show!"  Fun times with my mini-me!

After the show, I noticed she was petting Alstott and poking around his neck...hmmm.  "I'm trying to find Alstott's clavicle; I can find his cranium and femur but I cannot feel his clavicle!" After getting over my shock that Alexa knew the proper names for components of the skeletal system, I realized I didn't know if dogs have clavicles.  Thank goodness for the Internet!  Alexa and I spent the next few minutes reviewing pictures of canine skeletons online, as she tried to find the corresponding bone on Alstott.  After finding seven specific bones on Alstott - for the record, dogs do not have clavicles - he made it clear he'd had enough and gave a warning growl.  Looks like our stint as pseudo-veterinarians was done for the night.

From a personal trainer to veterinarian...you never know what to expect with Alexa.  She definitely keeps me on my toes!

Alstott....always a good sport (for a limited duration)

A Must-Have

I've noticed the toy sections in the weekly ads are getting more expansive over the past few weeks, so I decided I need to take a proactive approach to the holidays this year.  I made a deliberate decision to delay getting the nursery ready until after November 25th.  It seems silly, but I'm just not ready to move Granty's stuff until one year has passed.  Consequently, I figure the more Christmas shopping I can get done prior to November 25th, the better.  I decided to broach the subject with Alexa today, not knowing what type of response to expect.

Alexa has seen a few of the Toys-R-Us and Target circulars, so I wasn't sure if her list would encompass everything she has seen advertised....I remember I had a few lists from my childhood that were plucked directly from the pages of the Sears Christmas catalog.  I was pleasantly surprised when Alexa rattled off a surprisingly tame list - - a hula hoop, new dive rings for the pool, Easy Bake Oven....not too bad.  However, there was one item on the list that I immediately volunteered to buy for her instead of waiting for Santa - she asked for a picture of Granty in a sparkle frame for her room.  She has a few picture of Granty in her room already, but I am more than happy to accommodate her wish for another.  I'll be searching for the most gaudy, glitter-covered frame I can find :)

Over the past year, like all of us, Alexa has had her ups and downs, but I feel like she's finally hit her stride and adapted to our new normal.  She's a typical four year-old, but the experiences of the past year (and loving memories of her beloved baby brother) will always underlay even the most mundane situations.  We encountered our neighbor walking her dog, and she casually mentioned the dog is getting older.  Alexa innocently responded, "Is he going to die soon?"  Thankfully our neighbor handled her question with ease, but situations like this are a reminder that Alexa has experienced something well-beyond most kids her age.  However, as evidenced by her Christmas list request, it's not always a bad thing...our Granty will live on for the next 90+ years thanks to Alexa and her memories.

I'll be searching for another priceless photo like this one - -
a perfect match for a glittery frame.  lol