Joyful Reunion

Damon had the night off, so the three of us decided to have dinner together - and eat out at a restaurant, Alexa's favorite thing to do.  Alexa wanted hamburgers, so I met Damon and Alexa at Culver's on my way home from work.  Alexa was so excited to see me waiting by the counter and came running to me, bursting with excitement - it was like I hadn't seen her in days (not hours).  I'd better cherish these moments because I don't think she'll be that excited to see her mom when she's a teenager (if not sooner).  It was fun to enjoy a nice family meal together, although Alexa could barely contain herself through dinner, as she was scoping out the dessert menu and planning for her after-dinner treat.  Damon and Alexa each walked out with a scoop of custard....like father, like daughter.

Alexa decided she wanted to ride with me for the drive home, and we passed by Scottsdale Healthcare on the way.  I thought for sure she'd mention us dropping off Damon at the ER, but instead she yelled her usual "Mommy!  That's your hospital!" as we drove past the campus.  I'm glad she still has the positive association of that being the place where "Granty came out of Mommy's tummy."  It's hard to believe their first meeting was over six months ago - - I will never forget how excited she was to visit me and meet Granty on that Sunday afternoon after he was born.  He might not have been the instant playmate she expected, but, wow, she loved that little boy.  The enthusiasm is evident in the pictures.....

An instant protector of her little brother.

Checking out the baby she'd been patiently waiting for....

My little variety pack :)

Pajama Party!

I think Alexa's school has unlocked the secret to happiness for 3-5 year-olds: send them to school in their pajamas.  Today Alexa's classroom had a holiday pajama party, complete with sugar cookie decorating and a book exchange, and I have never seen Alexa more excited to go to school.  We set out her pajamas last night (Carter's 'I Love Santa' pajamas, complete with a little red tutu), and she excitedly helped me wrap the copy of "Purplicious" we had purchased for the exchange.  Damon had no trouble getting her up and moving this morning....

I was curious to see how she like the sugar cookies, since the ones I made with her were a pretty big flop, but I didn't have to worry about a taste-test today.  I guess all of the kids were eating so much icing during the decorating process that the teacher (wisely) cut them off before they could devour the cookies.  We have a big, messy bag of icing and cookies that I'm sure Alexa will be begging to eat for breakfast.

Another benefit of the excitement at school today - Alexa was so tired that she fell asleep immediately after her bath around 7:30 tonight.  I took full advantage of the mini-vacation and knocked out a six mile run on the treadmill.

Thanks for all of the well-wishes for Damon...he's doing well and is pretty much back to normal.  Whew!

My favorite kind of pajama party - my two kiddos :)

A 'Summer in AZ' pajama party - not nearly as well-attired.

A Visit to the ER

Well, the Hovannisian family is definitely taking full advantage of our health care benefits in 2012 - - maternity care, childbirth, Grant's hospitalizations, surgeries, chemo.... Damon decided he needed to partake in the health care claims as well.  Around 1am today, I drove him to the ER of Scottsdale Healthcare, where he was diagnosed with kidney stones.  Thankfully they were small enough (although the painscale was probably a nine) that he didn't need surgery, and he was back home around 3:30am.

Alexa was initially very scared when we dropped Damon off at the hospital, as she was concerned that (like Granty) he wouldn't be coming home.  Thankfully we had a surprisingly coherent and production discussion - especially for 1am - about Emergency Rooms versus hospitalizations; I simply explained that ER's are a doctor's office when the regular doctors are sleeping.  It helped when I told her she had been to an ER as a baby (horrible case of croup), to which she exclaimed, "And I'm a healthy kid!"  I think Damon and I will be having a lot of conversations with Alexa over the next few years whenever she's sick, going to the doctor, etc... Sigh.

In a bit of irony, a nurse working last night was the same one who had taken care of us when Grant was in the Pediatric ER at six-days old.  Jay was a phenomenal nurse who took great care of us - personally bringing up meds from the pharmacy, moving us from the ER to PICU after his shift ended (it ended up being a pretty hilarious transport because he had no idea where he was going since transporting patients was way outside his normal job responsibilities)....  He knew Damon looked familiar, and as soon as Damon began to jog his memory, Jay remembered Grant immediately.  Needless to say, he was devastated and saddened to find out what happened to Grant, and he was speechless to know that the white blood cell count from lumbar puncture that was diagnosed as meningitis was likely an indicator of the tumor.  Jay echoed exactly the same sentiments we heard at Phoenix Children's - never would they ever suspect a brain tumor in a six-day-old newborn.

It did bring a smile to my face to know that Jay remembered Granty - even at six-days old, he still left a lasting impression.  During that first hospitalization at Scottsdale Shea (not Phoenix Children's), the nurses in PICU fawned over Grant and loved having a newborn baby in their care.  I pulled up some of the pictures we had taken of Grant during the 'meningitis' hospital stay, and I just shook my head.  Alexa wanted us to bring him a toy, and she randomly selected a giraffe plush bowling pin for him.  The giraffe trend began well-before we even realized it.

It was love at first sight with the giraffe....

'Grant the Champ' showing his strength at just one week old.

A Busy Weekend

For the first time since I initiated the blog, I missed an update yesterday.  Damon and I went to a Christmas Party last night, the first time we've been out in a very long time, and we did not get home until after 1:30am.  I think I was asleep within 2 minutes of my head hitting the pillow.

Yesterday afternoon, Alexa and I did (finally) bake the sugar cookies - - unfortunately they weren't that good.  I knew they had fallen short of the mark when Alexa left one uneaten on her plate; that girl has never passed up an opportunity to eat a sweet.  Regardless, we did have fun cutting out the dough, baking and decorating them.  We even made a special "G" cookie in Granty's honor - despite the lack of flavor, it was the best cookie ever :)

Damon and I were fortunate to snag the babysitting services of a favorite, former teacher from Alexa's school, and we headed out to a Christmas Party for a night of friends and great food.  It was wonderful to see friends we had not seen in a long time, including some who have moved out-of-state.  The party provided a nice reminder of the joy and festive atmosphere that surrounds the holidays, and it took our minds off of everything for a couple of hours.  Our thoughts are never from our little boy though, as he was a topic of conversation (and tears) on our drive home. 

Some of our friends joined us this afternoon at the house to watch football and catch-up.  Alexa was in heaven playing with their four-year-old daughter, and it was cute to watch their nearly two-year-old boy chase after the silly girls.  It was a relaxing afternoon with friends, and there was definite entertainment in watching the guys watch the Cowboys-Steelers game. 

I was at the grocery store picking up a few things to have at the house (our refrigerator looks like a twenty-something bachelor's), and I had a bit of a teary moment in the soda aisle of the grocery store, as I heard 'Ave Maria' playing on the store's sound system.  Argh - - what store plays 'Ave Maria'!?!  I immediately thought of my sister-in-law Carolyn belting out the hymn for the procession of Granty's funeral, and I could not stop my eyes from welling with tears.  Thankfully only one person was in the aisle and might have paid witness to my little 'moment.' 

There is no way to describe the emptiness and sadness that we feel for the loss of our little boy - the pain seems to be getting worse, likely correlated to the approaching holiday.  The moments of sadness hit at the most random times (i.e. the soda aisle of Fry's Foods), and they hit like a ton of bricks.  I know it's going to get easier, but I cannot ever imagine a day or a moment that I don't miss my little Granty....I'd give anything to have him back. 

A tribute cookie for our beloved Granty.

Alexa took charge and decorated the cookies -
apparently Mom was stingy with the M&M's. :)

Christmas Cookies - - Sort of

After a busy week, I had decided Alexa and I would take it easy at home tonight.  Yesterday I had bought some Christmas M&M Baking Bits, so I thought it would be fun for Alexa and I to bake sugar cookies - - from scratch, no less.  I had even picked up some new Christmas cookie cutters for the festive night of baking.  However, I quickly realized that it must not be my baking that has won over Alexa's heart.  When I grabbed the mixer from the cabinet, Alexa told me that it was Daddy's mixer (he uses it to make waffle batter), and she asked me if he knew I was using it.  Point taken - - I need to cook and bake more.  To add to Alexa's lack of confidence in my kitchen skills, I had no idea that sugar cookie batter had to chill for a couple hours before they could be baked.  Oops - looks like the cookie baking will span into tomorrow.....

I am happy to report that Alexa did like the macaroni & cheese that I made for dinner (Annie's boxed variety).  At least I didn't strike out completely in the kitchen tonight!

An eager helper (and kitchen gadget watch-dog).



Back to 'Normal'

This week I returned to work after a three-week hiatus; it has been a nice return to a sense of normalcy and provides a productive distraction for myself.  Granty is still in the forefront of my mind and I have constant reminders of my little guy - - his birth announcement is in a frame on my desk, and his pictures are the wallpaper on my computer and Blackberry.  Even giraffes have a presence in my office, as the Brownie troop of a co-worker's daughter created a giraffe poster that the girls colored with bright, cheerful colors.  The giraffe poster on my whiteboard is a much more welcome sight than my dry-erase 'to-do' lists.  It's a great feeling to know the outpouring of support continues in the workplace too...both Damon and I are extremely lucky these extended support networks.

The 'new normal' routine is like a backwards time-warp, in having to deal with only one kiddo.  It's a very odd feeling to simply head to the Montessori school after work to pick up Alexa without having to go straight home to see my little boy.  Alexa and I have been staying busy with gymnastics, ZooLights, a quick pop-in to drop of a gift that turned into dinner, etc...  Tonight we discovered our friends' neighborhood is much more festive and decorated than our own, so it looks like Alexa and I will be cruising Scottsdale to view Christmas lights and decorations (the inflatables are definitely her favorite) tomorrow night. :)

The background of my computer - - one of my favorite pics of Granty.

Pseudo-Sisters

Tonight Damon and I took Alexa and her BFF (yes, they actually call each other that) Gabriella to a pizza dinner and ZooLights at the Phoenix Zoo.  The girls were so excited for their evening together - as if seven hours together at school each day isn't enough.  Somehow the girls even managed to convince one of their teachers that they were going home together; the plan was working until Gabriella's dad wised up to it at the afternoon carline when Alexa was waiting for him too.  Oye.  When we came to get Alexa about 45 minutes later, I could the dynamic duo must have been talking about their ZooLights plans with everyone because all the teachers seemed to know about their plans for the evening.

Alexa and Gabriella are absolutely hilarious together - - they act like and resemble each other enough to be mistaken for sisters.  Their conversations span from the most mundane (wiping in the potty) to pretty heavy topics (Alexa reminding Gabriella that Granty had died) in a matter of seconds, but it's a riot to listen to them talk because they use the exact same phrases and inflection in their voices.  I can only imagine what their teachers hear on a daily basis.....

The girls were well-behaved during the course of the evening, and the highlight of the date was a ride on the merry-go-round at the zoo.  The night was a good jolt for Damon and myself to start to get into the Christmas spirit.  Although the animal sightings were very limited, we did get some reminders of our Granty through a few giraffe displays :)

The BFF's - - waiting for dinner to arrive.

A talking giraffe.

A giraffe family in lights - - rather fitting.