Yesterday afternoon, Alexa and I did (finally) bake the sugar cookies - - unfortunately they weren't that good. I knew they had fallen short of the mark when Alexa left one uneaten on her plate; that girl has never passed up an opportunity to eat a sweet. Regardless, we did have fun cutting out the dough, baking and decorating them. We even made a special "G" cookie in Granty's honor - despite the lack of flavor, it was the best cookie ever :)
Damon and I were fortunate to snag the babysitting services of a favorite, former teacher from Alexa's school, and we headed out to a Christmas Party for a night of friends and great food. It was wonderful to see friends we had not seen in a long time, including some who have moved out-of-state. The party provided a nice reminder of the joy and festive atmosphere that surrounds the holidays, and it took our minds off of everything for a couple of hours. Our thoughts are never from our little boy though, as he was a topic of conversation (and tears) on our drive home.
Some of our friends joined us this afternoon at the house to watch football and catch-up. Alexa was in heaven playing with their four-year-old daughter, and it was cute to watch their nearly two-year-old boy chase after the silly girls. It was a relaxing afternoon with friends, and there was definite entertainment in watching the guys watch the Cowboys-Steelers game.
I was at the grocery store picking up a few things to have at the house (our refrigerator looks like a twenty-something bachelor's), and I had a bit of a teary moment in the soda aisle of the grocery store, as I heard 'Ave Maria' playing on the store's sound system. Argh - - what store plays 'Ave Maria'!?! I immediately thought of my sister-in-law Carolyn belting out the hymn for the procession of Granty's funeral, and I could not stop my eyes from welling with tears. Thankfully only one person was in the aisle and might have paid witness to my little 'moment.'
There is no way to describe the emptiness and sadness that we feel for the loss of our little boy - the pain seems to be getting worse, likely correlated to the approaching holiday. The moments of sadness hit at the most random times (i.e. the soda aisle of Fry's Foods), and they hit like a ton of bricks. I know it's going to get easier, but I cannot ever imagine a day or a moment that I don't miss my little Granty....I'd give anything to have him back.
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| A tribute cookie for our beloved Granty. |
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| Alexa took charge and decorated the cookies - apparently Mom was stingy with the M&M's. :) |
So poignant. Please know that you are in so many people's thoughts and prayers. Gwen
ReplyDeleteDear Connie, Not a day goes by when I don't think of your entire family. You can have your moments and don't worry about tears. I was so glad you and Damon were able to enjoy the party no two people deserve it more. As for the cookies, you and your little elf did a great job of cutting and decorating I only wish I could have had Alexa here to help me with mine. Hugs and Kisses, Joanne
ReplyDeleteI don't think you will ever not think of him or forget about him..he is a part of you (and all of us). Hoping that the good memories of him are able to comfort you during the more difficult times. And when the memories just aren't enough, it's okay to break down. Praying for you guys..love you all.
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