Heartbreak in the Savanna

Another 115-degree day in Arizona....what better activity than a trip to the zoo?  Yes, I am a bit crazy, but my sidekick Alexa was an enthusiastic companion and even extended the day beyond what I expected.  When we visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Alexa was very disappointed that the sting rays were clustered on one side of the tank, I'm sure purposely out of the reach of all humans.  She was really hoping to pet a sting ray, so I figured I could more than compensate for the missed opportunity with a trip to the Phoenix Zoo and its sting ray exhibit.  I expected that we would be at the zoo for maybe an hour or so this morning, but Alexa was undeterred by the heat and wanted to see all of the animals she could.  Three hours later (yikes!) we finally succumbed to the heat and called it a day.

Our morning at the zoo began exactly as I expected, visiting the sting ray exhibit, stopped to see the giraffes and headed out to see the other must-see animals on Alexa's list:  zebras, flamingos, monkeys, orangutans, iguanas, jaguar, elephants, tigers and lions.  She has a very specific list, obviously shaped by her previous visits to the Phoenix Zoo, and I tried to map our trip in the most efficient manner I could.

Granty is always on our minds when we go to the zoo, and today was no exception, as en route to the zoo Alexa commented on the planes taking off from the nearby airport.  She speculated that one of the planes (a US Airways flight) might be going to heaven...I just smiled, knowing exactly what sparked that comment.  On our first stop by the Savanna exhibit we spent a lot of time and Alexa shouted her normal, "Hi, Granty!" as the giraffes passed in front of us.  On the way out, we passed by the giraffes again, and her reaction was completely different the second time around....

I don't know if it was the heat or nine months of bottled up emotions, but when we walked by the giraffes and said, "Bye, Granty", Alexa completely lost it.  She suddenly began wailing and crying hysterically, "I miss Granty!!  I don't want him to be in heaven anymore; I want him here with me!"  It was such a raw display of emotion at a level I have never seen from Alexa; she was completely inconsolable.  "Why did he have to die?!?  He was just a baby and never did anything wrong!  Why did he have to leave me for heaven?!"  It was a good thing I had on my sunglasses, as I started to cry as well.  It was one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life to see exactly how devastated Alexa is by the loss of Granty.  I have seen her grapple with sadness, but this was a display of anger and despair like I had never seen from her.  As a parent, you wish you had the ability to fix everything for your kids, but this is one situation in which the sadness is mutual.  I too have asked myself all of those same questions, knowing I will never have an answer nor sound rationale for why this happened.

All I could do was gather Alexa in my arms and rock her on the bench in front of the exhibit, doing whatever I could to try to console her.  I just reminded her that Granty is still with us everywhere we go, in our hearts and watching us from heaven.  She was able to calm herself after about five minutes, and we spent another 15 minutes just sitting together on the bench watching the giraffes in silence.  I don't think it was coincidence that the youngest and smallest giraffe (2 years-old) walked down the hill and positioned himself directly in front of us, just feet from the railing.  I would like to think our little boy was sending an assurance that everything will be okay.

There's no doubt how much we all miss our Granty....

Saying "Hi" to Granty when we first entered the zoo - a visit to the Savanna
(notice the giraffe directly behind her).

Parallel Perfomance

With Damon out of town, Alexa and I had a pretty typical Saturday on another sweltering day in Arizona.  Alexa has moved up to the next level at gymnastics (she's in the 5-6 year-old class!), so swimming is no longer on our Saturday agenda.  However, we did get a couple of hours in the pool this afternoon, racing from one end of the pool to another.

After swimming and dinner tonight, Alexa and I settled on the couch together to watch the US Gymnastics Championships.  It was funny to listen to Alexa's commentary on the performances, as her critiques also included feedback on the girls' leotards.  As you would expect, there was no shortage of rhinestones, and the flashier ones definitely ranked high through the eyes of this four year-old.  I think she gave me a list of at least three leotards she wants me to put on her Christmas list this year....I should invest in a Be-Dazzler.  lol

By about the second rotation, Alexa could no longer contain herself, and she began to perform alongside the girls on television.  I had to smile to myself, as I remembered doing exactly the same thing when I was a young aspiring gymnast.  When she did a round-off on the travertine floor, I realized it was time to bring her mat into the living room to avoid any catastrophic injuries.  She danced, pranced and tumbled alongside the girls, although she was dismayed that she couldn't do all of the skills of the elite gymnasts.  In time, kiddo...  The mock routines, coupled with the busy day of gymnastics, shopping and swimming, wore her out, as she fell asleep curled up on her tumbling mat.

It's a good thing I dvr'ed the competition tonight...it may be a useful tactic to help burn off some of her boundless energy.  Anytime she's asleep before 8:30pm is a good night for me!

Trying to convince me to buy a blinged-out fedora at Target
(she wasn't successful...although it did look cute on her!).

Quite the Appetite

Friday....finally!  This has been an extremely long workweek, and I have been absolutely exhausted by the time Alexa goes to bed each night.  I haven't been sleeping well thanks to my beloved puggle Alstott....he has been waking me up at least three times a night to be let outside.  His insatiable appetite has gotten the best of him while I am at work, as I have come home to find he's eaten four squeeze applesauce snacks (Wednesday), nearly an entire loaf of bread (Thursday) and raided the garbage (Friday).  Apparently a dog's sense of logic doesn't allow him to make the correlation between his mid-day binges and the miserable episodes he has each night.  I have had to rearrange the pantry to have food items only on the top three shelves...oy.  I guess that's what happens when you mix the known food-hound breeds of a pug and a beagle.

Despite the long week, there was a lot of fun energy in the house this evening.  Alexa had been waiting for this day for a long time - - she and BFF Gabriella reunited for a playdate tonight.  Even though they hadn't seen each other in weeks, they quickly picked back up exactly where they had left off.  It's a very cute friendship that these two have; they've definitely been through a lot together!

After playing their normal games (dress-up, mommies & babies, kitchen), I dyed white frosting various colors and let them ice and decorate their own cupcakes.  I can honestly say I have never seen so much icing, sprinkles and mini M&M's on a single cupcake.  Their sampling and indulgence in one of their masterpieces definitely counted as the one sweet for the day... :)

Hard at work creating a cupcake masterpiece -
a little heavy-handed on the sprinkles.

Sugar rush!  I think this cupcake was five days worth of sweets.

A Little Anxious

When I was pregnant with Granty, Alexa was only two years-old for the majority of the pregnancy.  The idea of a baby was much more conceptual at that age, as I don't think it was until he was about six weeks-old that the reality of a baby brother resonated with her.  This time around is a completely different experience, undoubtedly due to a combination of her age and experience with Grant.

Just like the rest of us, Alexa is very excited but also very anxious about the birth of her new sibling.  I think I answer at least one question a day about when she will be able to find out if she will be getting a baby brother or sister (anatomical ultrasound is August 27th).  She's still gung-ho on making sure the baby is named Elizabeth if it's a girl....On the drive home from gymnastics today, Alexa even denounced her middle name (Siroon) and declared her new middle name is Elizabeth.  Too funny.

Although she is very excited, her concerns about the health of the baby are very obvious.  Yesterday she was playing "Mommy and  Baby" with one of her dolls, and within a minute of the baby "coming out of her tummy" she pretended to take the baby to the hospital because she was sick and later died.  Yikes.  I know that pretend play is a very important coping mechanism, but nevertheless, it is still very hard to hear her pretend her baby died.  In addition to the pretend play, I field a lot of tough questions for which I wish I had better, more definitive answers: "Is this baby going to die too?  Did you know Granty was going to die when he was in your belly?  When did you know he was going to die?  Why didn't I die when I was a baby?"

Trust me...I wish I had more definitive answers to these tough questions.  I just continue to hope and pray for a healthy little one.  That will lift a huge cloud of anxiety for all of us, but especially a very concerned big sister.

An adoring big sister with a love that will never end...
(I still cannot look at this picture without tearing up.)

Technologically Challenged

It will be interesting to see how this current generation of kids grows up in such a technology-based world.  Alexa is extremely well-versed in the Apple world, and she always tries to do a finger-swipe whenever she sees a computer screen - - she found out that this does not work well on my laptop PC.  I am the first to admit that I am not the most technology-driven person, and on airplanes I'm always happy to let Alexa have the iPad while I read my old-fashioned books and magazines.

Instead of watching a television show tonight, Alexa chose to play games on the iPad.  When we were in St. Louis, she became very well-versed in a "Cookie Baker" app on NeNe's Kindle, so Damon downloaded that to his iPad when we returned home.  After about five minutes of playing "Cookie Baker" she became bored and switched to "Angry Birds."  When I tapped her on the shoulder to let her know her time was up, she asked me if I wanted to try.  I think this was a set-up on her part, as she knows I have never played the game before, but I decided to be a good sport and give it a try.  Yes, something is very wrong with the world when I have a four year-old teaching me how to play "Angry Birds."

Alexa's "Angry Birds" tutorial lasted all of 30 seconds, and the rest of my play time was accompanied by heckling from Alexa, as she laughed hysterically when I could not knock out all of the monkeys or even missed them entirely in a few errant catapults.  Apparently watching me play was a million times more fun than actually playing it.  At one point, Alexa even uttered, "Are you kidding me!?" as I had a pretty rough round and didn't knock out too many monkeys.  Oy - I never expected to be taunted by a four year-old.  For the record, I did record one round in which I knocked out all of the monkeys and hit a high score.

After playing for about 20 minutes tonight, I decided to retire from the "Angry Birds"....I will just stick to watching Cardinals games and dvr'ed reality shows for my technology-fix.

Four going on fourteen..... :)

Inexpensive Tastes

Alexa's palate continues to perplex me....she used to be the kid who would try everything, but over the past few months she's become a very picky eater, shunning foods she used to love - macaroni & cheese, tomato sauce, etc...  Yet she could not wait to try frog legs; it really is quite a mystery.

Damon was working tonight, so Alexa and I decided to go to Wildfish for dinner to try to have some time together as a family today.  Dining at Wildfish can be a tough feat, as Alexa wants nothing more than to be by Damon's side when we're in the restaurant.  However, tonight I had Alexa's promise that she would be on her best behavior, and Damon helped things out by sitting with us whenever he could.  At the restaurant, Alexa's first question is always, "Do you have any live lobsters?!?"  Tonight the answer was "No," but Damon decided to bring some lobster and butter for Alexa to sample.  He figured this would be a pleasant treat, especially compared to the frog legs she ate a few weeks ago.

Logic does not always prevail when it comes to the appetite of a four year-old - Alexa hesitantly dipped the lobster in butter sauce and took a quick sniff as she brought it to her mouth.  The smell was apparently a huge turn-off, as she would have nothing to do with the crustacean.  Damon and I just shook our heads....at least we won't have to worry about her ordering an expensive entree next time we go out to eat!

Frog leg saddles?  No big deal...A piece of lobster claw?  Eww!!!

Higher Standards

As we drove to gymnastics this morning, Alexa expressed her dismay that Arizona does not border an ocean.  "I really wish I was back in Monterey searching for seashells on the beach!"  Join the club, kiddo!  It was a tough return to the heat of the desert after those wonderful days on the Central Coast.  We were quite spoiled by our recent vacation, and I have a feeling we will have at least one weekend jaunt to Monterey before baby #3 arrives.

Our return to Arizona also meant resuming our normal indoor activities on the weekends, although I have committed to swimming with her tomorrow.  Of course Candyland was on the docket (shocking, I know), but apparently our vacation has even made Candyland less fun.  While we were in St. Louis, Alexa not only played with me, but NeNe and her cousin Christian even joined in for some rousing games of Candyland.  (Christian was a great sport, as I don't know many college kids who would accommodate the request of a four year-old....maybe it'll become a drinking game at school this fall. :)  The two-person version of the game is much less lively than with four-players, and about halfway through the game, Alexa lamented the absence of NeNe and Christian.

It's going to be a rough month if everything is compared to the wonderful eleven-day vacation.  Maybe tomorrow's swim will remind Alexa of the fun of living in Arizona!

An enthusiastic participant....at the start of the game.