Heartbreak in the Savanna

Another 115-degree day in Arizona....what better activity than a trip to the zoo?  Yes, I am a bit crazy, but my sidekick Alexa was an enthusiastic companion and even extended the day beyond what I expected.  When we visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Alexa was very disappointed that the sting rays were clustered on one side of the tank, I'm sure purposely out of the reach of all humans.  She was really hoping to pet a sting ray, so I figured I could more than compensate for the missed opportunity with a trip to the Phoenix Zoo and its sting ray exhibit.  I expected that we would be at the zoo for maybe an hour or so this morning, but Alexa was undeterred by the heat and wanted to see all of the animals she could.  Three hours later (yikes!) we finally succumbed to the heat and called it a day.

Our morning at the zoo began exactly as I expected, visiting the sting ray exhibit, stopped to see the giraffes and headed out to see the other must-see animals on Alexa's list:  zebras, flamingos, monkeys, orangutans, iguanas, jaguar, elephants, tigers and lions.  She has a very specific list, obviously shaped by her previous visits to the Phoenix Zoo, and I tried to map our trip in the most efficient manner I could.

Granty is always on our minds when we go to the zoo, and today was no exception, as en route to the zoo Alexa commented on the planes taking off from the nearby airport.  She speculated that one of the planes (a US Airways flight) might be going to heaven...I just smiled, knowing exactly what sparked that comment.  On our first stop by the Savanna exhibit we spent a lot of time and Alexa shouted her normal, "Hi, Granty!" as the giraffes passed in front of us.  On the way out, we passed by the giraffes again, and her reaction was completely different the second time around....

I don't know if it was the heat or nine months of bottled up emotions, but when we walked by the giraffes and said, "Bye, Granty", Alexa completely lost it.  She suddenly began wailing and crying hysterically, "I miss Granty!!  I don't want him to be in heaven anymore; I want him here with me!"  It was such a raw display of emotion at a level I have never seen from Alexa; she was completely inconsolable.  "Why did he have to die?!?  He was just a baby and never did anything wrong!  Why did he have to leave me for heaven?!"  It was a good thing I had on my sunglasses, as I started to cry as well.  It was one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life to see exactly how devastated Alexa is by the loss of Granty.  I have seen her grapple with sadness, but this was a display of anger and despair like I had never seen from her.  As a parent, you wish you had the ability to fix everything for your kids, but this is one situation in which the sadness is mutual.  I too have asked myself all of those same questions, knowing I will never have an answer nor sound rationale for why this happened.

All I could do was gather Alexa in my arms and rock her on the bench in front of the exhibit, doing whatever I could to try to console her.  I just reminded her that Granty is still with us everywhere we go, in our hearts and watching us from heaven.  She was able to calm herself after about five minutes, and we spent another 15 minutes just sitting together on the bench watching the giraffes in silence.  I don't think it was coincidence that the youngest and smallest giraffe (2 years-old) walked down the hill and positioned himself directly in front of us, just feet from the railing.  I would like to think our little boy was sending an assurance that everything will be okay.

There's no doubt how much we all miss our Granty....

Saying "Hi" to Granty when we first entered the zoo - a visit to the Savanna
(notice the giraffe directly behind her).