One Year Ago....

Exactly one year ago today our lives were forever changed....Granty's 4pm MRI produced a result neither Damon nor I ever fathomed - a massive brain tumor that required an immediate PICU experience.  We quickly went from being parents nervously playing Connect Four in the waiting room to devastated parents trying to comprehend the worst-case diagnosis we could have received.  I was in utter shock as my mind raced and the life felt like it had been sucked out of me.  September 27th is forever embedded in my mind, as I can relive each moment in vivid detail.

Damon and I were both down in the dumps on this solemn anniversary (I was bawling in the shower this morning), and against my better health judgement, I went into the office just to help take my mind off of things.  I heard the song "Home" on the way to work, so I wasn't surprised when my boss told me I didn't look 100-percent (I think it was a combination of my bug + all of the makeup wiped off my face after the tearful drive).  These are going to be a rough few months....  However, tonight Alexa unknowingly lifted my spirits in a way that only Alexa can.

Fridays are show-and-tell days at school, so Alexa was eager to bring the pinwheel she received from Nana Hovey while we were in Fresno. The weather is cooling off here (finally!), so I opened up the windows on the car ride home so the wind would spin the pinwheel.  As I pulled out of the parking lot, the song "Gone Gone Gone" came on the radio, much to Alexa's glee.  She was belting out the words and watching excitedly as her pinwheel spun like crazy in the wind.  "Look, Mommy!  I think Granty's helping to blow my 'spinwheel'!"  The combination of her singing and that simply sentence changed my mood entirely - Alexa hardly ever speaks of the crappy incidents that impacted our lives, but rather she superimposes the loving memories of her brother on the situations of today.  Sometimes it helps to put things in the perspective of a four year-old.

On a separate note, good luck to my brother-in-law Larry who is running the Brewers Mini-Marathon tomorrow (Saturday) to help fight children's cancer.  It's a pretty chilling coincidence that the race is being held on the exact one-year anniversary that I found out Grant's brain tumor was cancerous (during 7am rounds)...one of the very worst moments of my entire life.  I truly hope events and fundraising efforts like this one, for which Larry has already raised $875 [http://www.race-brewers.com/BrewersCampaign2013/RunForGrant], will help ensure other parents don't have to hear this same devastating news.  I know Granty will be looking down on his Uncle Larry tomorrow, rooting him on and helping him to push through the moments when the running isn't so much fun (usually around mile 11).  I wish I could be there in Milwaukee for the race, but I will be cheering for Larry from afar, keeping tabs on his 13.1 miles through the Internet.  Thank you for doing this in Grant's memory, Larry!

Always a St. Louis Cardinals fan....just like his Uncle Larry.